Worth All the World
by Mars Scriver
Summary: Story of a great friendship between a human N7 trainee and a turian C-Sec officer. AU, because they're fun. Rated M for strong language and adult content. FemShep.
1. Teeth

06/28 – Well, here I am. It's been, what, five years? It's taken me a while to actually push something worth writing out of my brain.

To be honest, I had a lot of false starts with this one. I didn't like the characters, I got sick of the plot (or lack of), didn't like the pacing, didn't like the back story. I've got a lot of pages torn out of notebooks, a lot of scribbling out.

This came to me one night. I was attempting to get an early night, and the roommate was still up so I put my ear buds in to listen to some music while I attempted to relax. I was listening to Teeth, by Lady Gaga, when all of a sudden this stuff came spewing out of me. It was a decent beginning to a story. It was a decent character, and personality, with problems and history. It was up to me to put her into a situation where she would either thrive or fail. I grabbed my notebook, I started writing, furiously. I stayed up way later than I intended.

But, it's worth it. It feels so good to accomplish something. We'll see how long it takes me to update chapter 2, but I've got a plot set out that I need to follow (unlike ALL of my previous writings, where I would go and go and go and go and maybe this crap gets resolved).

At any rate, enjoy. Please let me know what you think.

And if you're wondering, the title comes from the Star Fucking Hipsters song, Immigrants & Hypocrites. Good old-fashioned punk rock. Live it, love it.

This chapter is appropriately titled Teeth. Thanks, Gaga.  
(PS if anybody can spot the Star Trek: TOS reference, I will shower you with virtual kisses).

/-/

Private Lina Shepard crouched next to the sleek black assault rifle she currently cradled in one arm. She raised her lip and ran her tongue over her teeth in concentration, stopping briefly to press on her canine, drawing just a little blood. She was painfully aware of how the sleek black of her HMWA Basic reflected the pure sex of her body armour, so tight it might be a layer of oil painted on her skin. She raised her head a bit to get a clearer look at her target.

It was paper, of course. A paper target in the shape of an androgynous human with a target in the centre of the chest, indicating the heart. Shoot here, it screamed to Lina. Fucking shoot off that stupid gold cross.

The target wasn't wearing the gold cross, of course. Andrea Phillips was. She was in the next booth, and was both the only other woman in the N7 training program, and Lina's rival.

Andrea was an inferior solider in many ways, according to Lina. The first being that she had beliefs in a higher power. Lina had caught a glimpse of the cross, the shiny gold cross on a delicate chain, always hanging around her neck, under her armour, in the showers, over the skanky clothes she wore out to clubs every weekend. To Lina, this was a sign of weakness, that she could be so easily brainwashed into following a non-existent, supposedly omniscient being that could watch and judge everything she did.

The second reason is that Andrea had a family, she had something to lose. Someone who would cry over her if she were to perish in a suicide mission, someone to bring up a lawsuit in the event that she should die in training. She had memories and photographs with loved ones that reminded her, every day, to stay alive, no matter what.

Lina didn't have these things. Her beliefs were in the military she so proudly served in and would gladly die for. Her family were the weapons she aimed and fired and carried with love and care, kept so meticulously clean, upgraded to make them faster, more powerful, less prone to overheating. Her memories were with the tactics she learned about, the missions she planned and the enemies she shot down.

The third was that Andrea Phillips was such a fucking slut, which is kind of ironic, considering reason number one.

Lina heard them at night, in the next bed. Being the only two girls, they shared a two-person dorm with a private bathroom. This didn't stop Andrea from bringing home various boys (and to Lina, they _were_ boys, nowhere near men) she'd met at the bars on the Citadel. She'd sneak them in, late at night, blasted off of her ass, the two of them would go at it not ten feet away while Lina pretended to sleep. The boys would get up to leave, promise to call, never would. Andrea cried all week until the next weekend, when she would wash, rinse, repeat. Like clockwork.

Was Lina jealous? Maybe a little, but at the same time, it's not how she wanted to be perceived. She'd let herself be led into a boy's bed once during basic, and it took far too long to live down. Never again, she thought. Never again until she met a guy that was smart, dark, deadly... well, a male version of her. At any rate, she heard what their fellow soldiers said about Andrea, their individual conquests of her- she'd gone through the acceptable N7 males in a matter of weeks, and had to find her companions outside of the Alliance areas of the Citadel, in the wards, at bars and clubs. Townies, C-Sec agents, and the like.

Lina was not interested.

On these nights, when Andrea had a local in bed with her, Lina would roll over, recite prime numbers as high as she could go, or try to count out as many numbers of pi as she could. Recall what she learned that day. Create offensive or defensive strategies in her head. Think about upgrades she wanted or books she'd read. It wouldn't take very long, inevitably. Like she thought- only boys, not men, and the whole debacle would be over in under ten minutes.

While Andrea was busy personally boning every one of the human males on the Citadel, Lina concentrated on her studies. You don't get to the top of N7 by sleeping with everything that moves, but at the same time... there's no harm in making them want her.

When she could spare a moment, or when she caught one of her comrades looking at her, she had a small list of carefully chosen moves that screamed "SEX!" without screaming "SLUT!"

This list included a combination of any of the following:

Lightly placing her pen on her lips, or lightly biting it.

Biting her lip (bottom)

Licking her lip (top)

Gently, slowly running her tongue over the edges of her teeth (top) (this one required eye contact)

Slow parting of her lips

Slow backwards glance over her shoulder (only worked if the recipient was behind her)

If she sandwiched any of these moves between a quick shakeout of her hair and a flutter of the eyelashes and/or lingering eye contact, and Lina was guaranteed to get a flustered reaction out of the intended recipient.

It also worked surprisingly well on Alliance soldiers, if she wanted just a little more time in the weapons locker to do maintenance on her guns.

Back to the gun in her hands, she thought. Lina glanced over and saw Andrea glaring at her from the next booth, a Stiletto IV in her hands. The redhead released one hand from her weapon to fluff out her short, but full and curly hair, she repositioned herself and let her eyes slowly wander back over to her rival. The two of them locked eye contact, and Lina pulled a slow parting of the lips (# 5) followed by a #4 (tongue running over teeth) before she uttered the following:

"Show me your teeth."

She'd barely glanced forward again when her right pointer finger gently squeezed the trigger. The round exploded out of the barrel, hitting the paper person in the dead centre of its three-ringed target. Right where the gold cross would be resting, had it been Andrea the gun was aimed at.

/-/

Lina perched on the edge of her bed, her hair still wet from the shower she had just taken. She picked off a tiny stray hair that had stuck to her shoulder, despite the shower, from when she had buzzed down the sides. It was long in the top, all one length, and buzzed short on the sides. It was easy to maintain, and when she put forth the effort, made a kick ass mohawk. She wore a pair of denim cut offs and an oversized tee, her legs crossed beneath her as she picked up her ear buds and shoved them into each canal, then turned on some loud, upbeat music through her comm system to keep her mind alert as she read.

It was 2100hrs on a Friday, and she was fully prepared to spend the rest of the evening catching up on her technical journals.

Andrea entered the room then, the perky brunette making a beeline for the bathroom without even acknowledging Lina's presence. After a moment, she could hear her roommate making a disgusted noise and yelling about "CAN'T YOU RINSE OUT THE SINK AFTER YOU FUCKING SHAVE?" Lina pretended not to hear her, and simply glanced up and waved when the brunette stood in the doorway and glared at her, then went back to her journals.

Lina knew the routine- Andrea would shower, spend what seemed to be hours putting on too much make up in front of the mirror, and chat to her friends or that week's boyfriend over her comm system. They would talk about the "hot new cluuuubbbbbbbb!" they were "hittin' upppppp!" that night, get changed into something that barely covered her, give Lina an accomplished look ("Look at how popular I am tee hee!" Lina would mimic in her head) and head out the door, to return hours later, shitwrecked, dragging along... well.

Fucking slut. We've gone through this.

Every damn week. The same thing.

Lina, back perfectly straight, turned her music louder to drown out the blow dryer once Andrea got out of the shower, and flicked to the next page in her journal, determined to learn the difference between batarian and krogan tactical offence techniques.

Suddenly, her ear bud was ripped out of her ear. She looked up, angry that someone had managed to sneak up on her, and saw her roommate standing over her.

"Come out with me," the brunette said, more an order than a question.

Lina, determined not to be caught off guard again, raised an eyebrow in anticipation.

"Why in the 'verse would I want to do that?" she asked flatly.

"Because I have an extra VIP pass to this big thing at Chora's Den tonight, you know, that gentleman's club? It'll go to waste otherwise," she talked as she wandered back to the bathroom mirror. "Besides, we've been roomies for three months now, and we still know nothing about one another."

"Correction, you know nothing about me," Lina called, allowing her eyes to wander back down to her journal. "My dear, I know ENTIRELY too much about you."

Andrea gave her an "oh, shut up bitch," look and went back to the mirror.

"Come on, I'll buy the first round," she called, fixing her mascara.

Lina licked her thumb and dramatically flipped the glossy pages, clearly indicating her lack of interest in moving from that very spot.

"Alright, all of your drinks are on me," Andrea reasoned. "Just please don't rape my bank account too badly."

Lina snapped her publication shut.

"NOW we're talking," she stood and pulled her remaining ear bud out, turning her comm system's steaming music off. "See, Andy, you give a little, you get a little!"

"Drea," the brunette corrected. "My friends call me Drea."

Lina rolled her eyes, stopping herself from making a sarcastic comment. For her own comfort, she ran the blow dryer through her own thick hair and threw on a layer of mascara before shoving her feet into red hightops.

Andrea gave an exasperated look. "You're wearing THAT?"

"There is a problem?" Lina pulled aggressively at the laces.

Andrea sighed. "No... well, yes. But- whatever." She leaned back over the sink. "At least accessorize a little?"

Lina stared. "Seriously? I don't own any jewellery!"

"Then look through mine and take whatever!"

Lina opened the small brown box and poked through the articles, eventually settling on a knuckle ring with the word LOVE written out on it. Andrea nodded at the selection, thinking it sweet. Lina thought of a metal song by the same name.

"Lip gloss," Andrea passed it to Lina. "Put it on."

Lina one again rolled her eyes and obliged.

"Am I acceptable now?" she asked sarcastically as she handed the tube back. She shoved a few things- her ID, a credit chit, her sleek black comm box, into the pockets of her shorts.

"Good enough," Andrea responded as she shoved many, many articles into a tiny purse. "Just promise me you won't embarrass me."

"Promise me you won't bring some dude home and bang him, regular or mouth," Lina quipped back.

Andrea scoffed, "maybe if you brought some dudes home yourself, you wouldn't have such an aversion to it."

"What, and ruin the mystery that is Lina Shepard? I don't think so."

/-/

The club was packed, that was an understatement. Lina tried not to seem aghast at all of the aliens. Despite her time on the Citadel, Lina hadn't ventured outside of the Alliance areas much, so she had seen mostly only humans, with the odd alien here and there. The dance floor was packed, everyone pushing against one another to the beat, and there was a sudden rise in humidity as soon as they entered the place. Lina wrinkled her nose at the smell of sweat, but reminded herself that she was here, the drinks were free, and she might as well try to make nice once she got a buzz going.

You're on the Citadel, Lina, the cultural centre of the 'verse. Just don't make a fool of yourself in front of everyone, she told herself sternly.

The asari host showed them to their booth, where Andrea's friends had already arrived and ordered drinks for them- some kind of colourful frilly concoction with all sorts of crap sticking out the top of it. Lina pushed it over to Andrea ("All yours!") and ordered a bourbon.

Looking over the group, Lina recognized a couple of their fellow trainees, as well as a few younger-looking individuals that were probably boot camp trainees. In other words, fresh meat to Andrea.

Oh, wait, Lina thought. I recognize that one from a couple weeks ago. Forget that last comment.

"So, Shepard, you finally tore yourself away from the library?" one of the boys across the table joked. Lina recognized him. What was his name? It was Greek, something with lots of Os and Ps... Apo! They called him Apo!

"She bribed me with free drinks," Lina explained, at that moment receiving the bourbon she ordered. She took a sip, sweet Kentucky bourbon, her ring clinking against the glass, and motioned towards Andrea, who was already chatting up a young human C-Sec officer.

"That's all it takes to get you out of that uniform, eh?" Apo nodded suggestively. "Well maybe after a few of those, we could go and formulate an offensive strategy to conquer that fine ass of yours?"

Lina's smile dropped. Apo accepted high-fives from the other boys across the booth.

Oh, a sex joke, she thought, not even a clever one.

She composed herself again, pushing back her hair and leaning over the table closer to him. She bit her lip and fluttered her lashes a bit.

"Oh, Apo," she said suggestively, using her breathiest voice that she could while still being heard over the music. "Unfortunately, there isn't enough alcohol in the 'verse to make that seem like a good idea. You're far better off developing strategies solo, because I don't know of a single person that would want to touch your offensive weapon."

She sat back down and gave him a small shrug. Apo's grin fell, turning to anger. Adwin, one of her comrades sitting next to Apo, burst out laughing and threw his hand across the booth to give her a shake. She obliged.

"That was a good one! That was a good one!" he said with a slight South African accent.

Lina, already disgusted with the crowd and Andrea's actions, picked up her drink and downed it, suddenly planning to get very, very drunk that night. If she found some moderately cute guy to talk weapons with, the night may not be completely wasted.

First thing is first, she thought. Another drink.

She walked up to the bar and called to the first person she saw standing behind it.

"Bourbon, on the rocks," she stated, pushing her empty glass forward.

The turian behind the bar looked up from the drink he was pouring and gave her a slightly bemused smile.

"Really?" he asked, his deep, calm voice had a soothing quality to it. "A little thing like you drinking straight bourbon?"

Lina's eyebrows furrowed. Who was this guy to judge her?

"Hey fuck you buddy, don't you fucking patronize me. All I want is a drink, a real drink, none of this frilly colourful crap that everyone else seems to have," she spouted out, realizing too late the upset in her voice. She had lost her cool.

The turian put down the glowing bottle he had been pouring from.

"Alright then," he said slowly. "What's your brand?" he asked, motioning towards the wall of bottles.

"Jim Beam," she leaned against the bar, allowing the coolness of the brushed steel to seep into her arms. It was then that she noticed how sweaty she was, despite the fact that she hadn't been dancing.

There are too many damn people here, she thought.

She watched as the turian located a mostly full forty of Jim Beam and pulled it off of the shelf. At that moment, another bartender started heading around the corner, walking to the end of the large circular bar where Lina stood. Before she could blink, the turian had crawled under the lifting tray next to where she stood, bottle in hand.

It was then that Lina realized he was wearing armour, and none of the others were.

With his back turned, the real bartender didn't notice when the turian stood, grabbed Lina at the waist and started guiding her towards the back exit.

Lina was flabbergasted, shocked at the scene she had just witnessed, and trying to make sense of it still. She allowed herself to be pushed towards the back of the room, understanding when he cut through the dancing crowd that it was tactical- none of the employees would notice them with the bottle in the large group of people, and none of the patrons would give a shit if they were having fun. He moved her to his right side, hiding the bottle at her back when they reached the back exit and were stopped by a young human C-Sec officer.

"I'm just taking her out for some fresh air," the turian said, motioning towards Lina, who could very easily pass for sick given how sweaty she was. She gave a small shrug and let her mouth and shoulders sag.

The blonde officer only glanced at her before looking back up at the turian, "sure thing, boss, I don't think there's anyone back there."

"Thanks, I'll be back in a few minutes," he said, lightly smacking the young human on the shoulder with his free hand, his right hand, with the bottle, still hidden behind Lina's back. "You're doing a great job, Bailey, keep it up!"

"Thanks, sir!" the kid, Bailey, opened the back door and let them through.

The two of them stepped out into the cool night air, freed from the crushing, claustrophobic confines of Chora's Den. Surely enough, they were alone in the back, with only an empty alley and a few garbage bins nearby. They simultaneously let out a nervous breath, then looked at each other and gave a little laugh.

Out in the light, Lina got a better look at her captor (saviour? It was really not her kind of place...). He had blue clan markings on his face, across the bridge of his nose (did turians have noses?) and eyes a gorgeous shade of deep blue. He was different, she could tell by the smile those eyes held when he looked at her.

"Well," he said, breaking the silence. "We just stole most of a forty of whiskey from Chora's Den, how does that make you feel?" he held up the neck of the bottle to her face like a microphone.

Lina couldn't help herself, the absurdity of it all, she burst out laughing.

How did I get myself into this? She wondered.

"Who ARE you?" she asked, unable to contain the words.

"I might just ask you the same question," he responded. "Other than someone who allows herself to be led out of the back exit of a bar into a dark scary alley by an alien twice her size."

Lina scoffed. "Who are YOU, Mister I-like-to-steal-booze-from-bars who may or may not be affiliated with Citadel Security!"

He shrugged and grinned at her.

"Well, if you want to join me in consuming this pilfered handiwork of Kentucky origin, name or no name, you are welcome to come this way. I know this great little spot with an awesome view of the fake lake," he said, turning on his heel and heading down one of the empty alleys away from Chora' Den.

Lina was torn, on one hand, she hated not being in control of the situation, but on the other hand...

"Lina," she called, causing him to stop and turn back to her. "My name is Lina Shepard."

The turian smiled wider, and held out his hand, beckoning for her to come take it. She obliged.

On the other hand, she was intrigued. She had never met someone who made her laugh so easily, who made her feel interested enough to follow.

When she reached his waiting hand, tentatively allowing herself to slip her own into his, she looked up at him and smiled back.

That's how Lina Shepard, N7 agent, met the turian C-Sec officer Garrus Vakarian.


	2. Bandaids

Have you ever had those mornings? When you wake up and have to think about where you are and how you got there? When you somehow have only one shoe? When some unknown substance has stained your clothes and you find a mystery bag of beef jerky in your purse? When you get a text from a friend claiming you punched them and you don't remember why? When you spend the rest of the day on the couch in the dark, puking into a bucket and watching Futurama?

Well, good nights generally lead to terrible mornings. So I am dedicating this chapter to the weekend.

So here's to that two and a half days when you don't have to worry about responsibilities. To drinking too much, to metal concerts and acoustic country jam sessions, to mysterious bruises and lost shoes, to getting high in the park and watching the stars, to getting into trouble with friends who help you talk your way out of punishment. This chapter is inspired by and dedicated to the nights you don't remember with the people you'll never forget.

_We'll dance all night 'til the sun comes up and we'll drink ourselves completely blind. – Hank Williams 3._

This chapter is titled "Bandaids".

/=/

Garrus was right- the view of the fake lake was spectacular. They had climbed up to a secluded spot in the Presidium and opened up the purloined bottle of bourbon.

Lina felt, for the first time in a while, at ease. There was something about the turian's voice that soothed her. The flange, combined with the gentle tone, helped her relax even when she was doubled over with laughter. His eyes were kind, and Lina quickly became accustomed to his various facial expressions, despite how different they were to a human's. She was enjoying his stories and the fact that he didn't ask her too many questions.

The redhead sat straight, facing the large body of water and the simulated twilight sky reflected in it. Garrus sat apart from her, leaning against the wall. Lina took a pull from the bottle and passed it back to him during a small lull in the conversation. She watched as he grabbed the bottle with one hand and lit a small cigar with another. He took a small drag and offered it to her. She smiled and grabbed it, putting it between her lips as he finished his story.

"So there we were, sitting at the bar, and he's got food all over his face. Like, _all over_. And we're all staring at him, pretending to be enthralled at what he was telling us. We really wanted to see how long it would take him to realize that we weren't even listening, just staring at his face and the obnoxious about of food that was stuck to it," his mandibles flared out in a smile.

"That is both horrible and hilarious at the same time," Lina laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. "Did he eventually find out?"

"Not before he started trying to pick up random girls," he responded, and took the cigar from Lina. He took a small puff. "He honestly had no idea why there were turning him down. I mean, normally he doesn't pick up _many_ girls, not as many as me-"

"Of course," Lina smirked.

"-but he can usually find one or two. But this was just rejection after rejection, one after another after another. It would have been hilarious if it weren't so sad."

"How long did this go on for?"

Garrus paused and let out a small laugh, "A while. Eventually he walked around and must have caught his reflection somewhere, because he came back with a clean face all 'fuck you guys!'"

Lina burst out laughing, covering her face with her hands. Garrus smiled a little wider and reached for her wrist to pull it away. She backed away slightly, and he stopped.

"Why do you do that?" he asked. "Why do you cover your mouth when you laugh?"

Lina dropped her hand and shrugged, maintaining silence until Garrus sat back and exhaled loudly.

"We were having such a lovely time," he joked, and waited for her to speak. "Come on, why don't you tell me something about you? Your family? Where you come from?" He passed her the bottle, hoping to encourage her. She took it and drank, remaining silent for a moment longer.

"Shouldn't you get back to the club? Aren't you working?" she asked finally, an obvious attempt to change the topic.

Garrus paused for a moment before taking the bottle from her hands and setting it down out of her reach.

"No, I'm not working, I was there for leisurely purposes," he replied. "Why don't you tell me anything about yourself?"

"I've, uh..." she said finally, after a long pause. She gave it a moment of thought before continuing. "I've never had anybody really show interest before, I suppose, so I just got used to being the quiet mysterious girl." She rubbed the back of her neck a bit.

"I'm going to be completely honest here," she turned so she was facing him head on. "I really am very socially awkward. I put up a front, really, a very different front from who I actually am. And because of that, no one really wants to get to know me. They think I'm this huge bitch who is not at all interested in people, or some totally unattainable player... but that may be partially my fault."

She stopped, and let out a small laugh, and dropped her head so it was hidden behind her hair. "I'm rambling."

"No, no, no," Garrus said quietly. "That was very good! It's a start, at least."

"Let's talk about you for a bit," Lina looked back up at him and smiled. "What do your markings mean?"

"That's hardly personal," he remarked. "But... the colour indicates the region of Palaven that my family is from. The markings themselves indicate what clan, or what family I belong to."

"So did you grow up on Palaven?"

"Sort of," Garrus rubbed his chin.

"So what made you decide to come to the Citadel?"

"Me decide?" he let out a laugh, "Right. Nothing. We were dragged here by my father when I was young."

"Okay," Lina smiled and stubbed the now burnt down cigarillo on the grass, "What made _him_ decide to come to the Citadel?"

"Well, after he retired from a long military career, he was offered a 'high-paying executive position' in C-Sec. He thought it would be 'best for his family' if we moved here instead of staying on Palaven," Garrus scoffed. "He tries too hard to push what he thinks is best onto myself and my siblings. He's actually told me on occasion that he's just looking for an opportunity to promote me, which is stupid because there are far more competent and willing officers than me."

"So, you're not after the 'high-paying executive position'?"

"No way, the higher-ups in C-Sec spend most of their time hemming and hawing over 'important decisions', while the officers do, or _try_ to do, the real work. I'd rather be in the field, making a difference, than stuck in an office all day with no idea of how it really is."

Lina reached for the package of cigarellos and pulled another out to light. She held the plastic tip between her teeth and spoke through the corner of her mouth, "so why did you join?"

"To shut him up, mostly," the turian took a shot from the bottle. "I wanted to join the military after my year of basic, but..."

"But...?"

He stopped and thought a moment, "Oh, come on, how did we get on the subject of me again?" he scoffed.

Lina laughed, and lit the cigar with his metal lighter instead of responding. She cocked her eyebrow at him before laying down in the grass, one hand behind her head. She saw him give an exaggerated shrug at her, waiting for her answer. She smiled and took a puff of the cigar.

"Isn't it a lovely night?" she asked.

"It's programmed to be a lovely night, every night," he took another shot from the bottle. "Everything about the environment here is simulated or manufactured."

"But you can still see the stars, and the gas clouds. We can't see any nebula this clearly on earth," she sighed. "Of course, you can't even see stars in some places... light and air pollution are so awful." She turned her gaze to him and propped her head up on her hand. "I used to go to the harbour at night, to see the stars. It's one of the only places in Montreal that you could. The city lights were behind you and there was a lot of water between the city and the suburbs. Sometimes it was clear enough you could see the stars reflected in the water." She let her eyes move upwards again. "I used to lie on the docks and pretend that I was on a ship, in space, looking out at them from the observation deck."

Garrus couldn't help but smile. It was the most sincere thing she'd said all evening.

"Of course it was cold as tits out, most of the time," she laid back down. "That kind of ruined the fantasy."

Garrus let his head fall back and looked upwards. She was right- it was quite beautiful. It was easy to forget that the stars were genuine, even if everything else was a fabrication. Sometimes, you would just need a fresh pair of eyes.

"My brother died," he admitted after a few moments of silence, "In the military. Routine scouting mission, came across some pirates. He was taken down when they went to intervene. After that my father denied the rest of us any opportunity to join the military, using his influence to get our applications denied- he wanted us to join C-Sec instead. It was 'safer'."

Lina turned her head back so she was facing him. He was still looking up at the stars.

"So, that's why I joined C-Sec. At the time, I had no other choice, and now..." he shrugged, and looked back down, meeting her eyes. "I don't know where I would go."

Lina smiled and let her head fall to the ground again, gazing at the universe. She was surprised how silent the Presidium could be at night, despite how busy it was during the day. They had only seen a few C-Sec officers making rounds, and each had greeted her companion with a wave or a nod as they passed. Despite the circumstances- at night, in a mostly empty section of the Citadel, with no company except for the alien she had met only a few hours earlier- Lina didn't feel uneasy. She turned her head and looked at the turian again, who had taken to checking his Omni-tool. He smiled and shut it off when he noticed her looking at him. She suddenly felt like the truth could finally come out, and that she could entrust it to the man sitting next to her.

"I'm an orphan," she said each word slowly, carefully considering the next, "sort of. I left home when I was nine."

Garrus was taken back, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. "Nine? By the spirits, why?"

"They were horrible," she admitted, sitting up. "My dad beat me, my mom sat back and watched. She said it was 'god's will'. I left home and went to the city, found a new family on the street. Stole, lied, slept in parks. I heard horror stories of foster families, so I never used any of the services for homeless kids. I never trusted anyone again."

She sat up and sat face to face with him, suddenly finding she was unable to stem the flow of words coming from her mouth.

"I was tough, unlike some of the other girls, so I didn't have to resort to selling myself for money or protection. Actually, I used to wait while the other girls enticed Johns, and when they went into the rooms, I would steal money or credit cards from their coats or pants. If I ever got caught I would just attack them. I mean, what are they going to report? That they got beaten up and robbed by a small girl while with a hooker?" She laughed nervously, "When I was seventeen, I thought, there has to be something better for me, so I enlisted. I did well in the training, and on my off time I went to the library, read, taught myself about history, art, music. Math- I try, but anything complicated is beyond me, and I only know a little science, but... I'd say it's pretty damn good for a fourth-grade dropout."

She pushed her hair out of her face and pursed her lips for a moment before continuing.

"I tried to act normal, once I got out of basic and into the navy training. I tried to make friends and had a boyfriend and everything, but it all seemed... phony," she thought a moment longer. "It just wasn't me. I started out fine, but just got more and more introverted. I put up a front, one I still use. I used to think that I was doing them a favour, protecting them from me and the horror that is my life, but... I just realized, this entire time, I've been protecting me. I keep my past hidden and I don't bother learning anyone else's, because in my mind I'm still this kid on the street, and to me they all have perfect families and pearly white teeth and a place to go home to. And I've worked harder to get where I am."

There was a moment of quiet. Garrus opened his mouth to say something but Lina held up a hand to stop him.

"I'm having an identity crisis here," she said.

Garrus clamped his mandibles shut, allowing her to think.

"I've come to the realization, that I'm not better than them," she said finally, "Despite where I come from. N7 levelled that. We're all the best, that's why we're here," she put a hand to her chin in thought, "Wow... maybe I should be nicer."

The turian smiled, then suddenly started laughing. Lina frowned at him.

"I'm not laughing at you, I swear," he said. "I'm just glad that I could help!" he joked. Still laughing, he slapped his knee with a gloved hand.

Lina relaxed, letting her face ease into a smile. She shifted herself so she sat next to, but a few inches away from him. He rolled his eyes.

"What, do I smell bad?" he asked, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her next to him. He leaned back, allowing his arm to rest on the grass behind her. She leaned against him, slightly, pulling her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She rested her chin on her knees, and looked over at him, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"So, after all that, you don't feel like running away?" she had to ask.

"It's a lot," he admitted. "But no. Truth be told I feel like hugging you but..." he leaned over and whispered "_I don't think we've gotten that far yet._"

"Thank you for not hugging me," she said flatly. "That _would_ be a little much."

She smiled, and Garrus chuckled. The two of them were looking over the water when Lina heard her comm faintly beep. She reached over and plucked it out of the grass where she had dropped it hours before. She popped it open and saw many missed messages from Andrea.

-_Where are you!_

_-Call me if you get this!_

_-OK, officially MIA now!_

Lina rolled her eyes, "Looks like I have to get back to the club. The roommate's freaking out."

Garrus let out a groan of disappointment. He checked the bottle- almost empty. He offered it to the redhead, which she gladly took, downing the rest in one big, burning gulp. He stood and offered her a hand to help her up. Upon standing, all of the alcohol she had consumed suddenly hit her.

"I am drunk," she realized, "Very drunk, indeed."

She took a step and nearly stumbled, bumping into her companion. She let him put an arm around her to steady her, and when upright, playfully hooked arms with him as he led her back to the club.

"And you're wrong," she blurted out. He gave her a confused look.

"You don't smell bad, not at all," she said, hoping the red in her cheeks would be blamed on the booze. "You smell like the air, after it's rained. It's pleasant."

Garrus grinned, "I've never had my personal odour described so eloquently before. Thank you!"

"And you're charming," she continued. "You smell nice and you're charming."

Garrus chuckled as he slowly led the very drunk girl back to the back door of the club. Lina stopped them before he could knock on the door to get let back in. She pulled his right arm closer to her, bringing up the contacts in his Omni-tool and punching in the number to her comm. She looked up at him and winked.

"So you don't forget," she smiled.

"Shepard, dear, you are many things," he leaned down and gently pressed his forehead to hers. "But forgettable is not one of them."

Lina closed her eyes and breathed in, allowing the smell to overtake her senses.

Just like rain.


	3. Oxygen Mask

Sometimes what goes into my notebook and what gets typed into the netbook turn out two totally different ways. Parts of this chapter are taken from the new writings and parts are taken from the old writings.

This chapter is dedicated to Tara, my ever-loving, non-judgemental soul mate and editor who has the softest chest pillows in the world. You are both the best listener and story teller. Love you, and miss you always when you aren't around.

For clarity: In the parts of my imagination not totally ruined by television ("We'll be going to a box factory!"), Omni tools are a multipurpose device,( i.e., communication, extranet, media) as well as having the functions they have on the game (i.e., biotics, assistance in repairs and upgrades). Shepard, being in training still, doesn't have one, and as such uses her Comm only, which has features similar to a smart phone.

Moving on, this chapter is titled Oxygen Mask.

\-\

Lina awoke with a terrible headache and the urge to crush something. Her mouth tasted like cigarettes and her clothes reeked of them, too. She sat up in bed and pulled her tee off, then wriggled out of the shorts she had passed out in. It was too hot for clothes in bed, anyway.

Ugh, she thought. Whiskey. Damn it.

She wiped the sweat off of her forehead and squinted into the darkness. She could barely make out her storage locker at the foot of her bed, and the shape of the bunk to the left of her, oddly empty. She lay back down and checked her comm. It read 0752hrs.

She crushed her eyes shut again. The dim light from the comm was making her headache worse.

Ugh, she thought once again. Whiskey.

The door to the dorm opened. Pressing her hand against her eyes to block the light she pointed her free hand in the direction of the door and yelled, "don't you dare turn that light on!"

The light came on anyway. It stayed on momentarily before shutting off again. Then, playfully, after a moment it began to flicker on and off.

"Mahahahaha!" she heard a female voice pantomime. "_How do you like me noooow?_"

Lina dropped her hand and glared at the culprit. Andrea stood in the doorway, balancing two stacked coffee cups in one hand and playing with the light switch in the other. Lina's eyes narrowed.

"I could kill you with my thumbs," she deadpanned.

"Before you hear about my night?" Andrea shut the door and walked over to the bed, plopping down on the end. She handed one of the take out cups to Lina. "And I hear about yours?"

"I don't remember how mine ended," Lina confessed, pulling the lid off of the top of the cup. She sniffed the contents and smiled at the hot black coffee hidden within.

"I can fill you in on those details," Andrea winked.

Lina took a sip of her coffee, flinching slightly as it burned her tongue. She set it down on the bed, one hand to steady it, and used her free hand to push her hair out of her face. She frowned at the other girl, who was acting suddenly friendly far too early in the morning.

"Okay, Drea, in as calm and quiet a voice as possible, tell me, how was your evening?" Lina rubbed at her temples, too hungover to argue.

"Ohhh, pretty humdrum until a bunch of C-Sec Academy boys got to the bar," Andrea pushed herself further onto the bed, pulling her legs crossed underneath her. "There was one, he was cute. Southern boy. We danced, laughed, made out on the rapid transit."

"Yeah, I spent the night with somebody from Kentucky, too," Lina narrowed her eyes again. "Whiskey. God dammit."

"In short," Andrea ignored her, "a C-Sec boy took me home last night." She let out an exaggerated sigh.

Lina glanced over at the bed next to hers. Now that the lights were on, she could see it was still made. She saw that Andrea was wearing the same clothes from the night before as well.

"So you just got in," Lina ventured another sip of her coffee, now cooled enough to drink. "How is it that you are so chipper? I could use about twelve more hours of sleep."

"Well I wasn't nearly as drunk as you," Andrea took a sip of her own coffee. "You punched Apo in the face, eh?"

"Really?" Lina smirked.

"Yeah, you broke his nose," The brunette affirmed, amusement playing in her voice. "That ring of mine really did a number on his face."

"Good, he's an ass and a dimwit," Lina replied, smug. "What provoked it?"

"He grabbed your ass."

Lina's eyes widened and her upper lip lifted into a snarl. It all came back to her suddenly.

_They got back to the club through the back door. It was still hot, and the dance floor had dispersed as people crowded the bar to make last call. Lina allowed herself to be pulled through the crowd, her hand squeezing and in turn being squeezed by Garrus'. He stopped briefly to talk to someone, Lina couldn't remember who, and she moved closer, trying to shimmy through the crowd without being touched. And that's when she felt it: A hand, very specifically, placed on her ass._

_Her head rushed, and she felt like the world started to move in slow-motion. It was too well placed to be a brushing-past, and more specifically, it was a palm that was cupping her cheek. Then she felt it start to tighten. Her eyes narrowed, she turned slowly to see who was behind her and saw Apo's conceited, moronic face grinning a rather satisfied smile at her. She dropped Garrus' hand, grabbed Apo's shirt and flung her face against his, headbutting him, enjoying the suddenly concerned look on his cocky face. She pulled back and made a fist, then introduced it to his nose a couple times._

_Time sped back up, she felt someone grab the back of her shirt and pull her away, presumably Garrus. The person he was speaking to, another turian C-Sec officer it seemed, rushed forward to grab Apo before he fell to the ground. She was being dragged away._

"Don't you remember?" Andrea's voice was saying from a distance.

Lina came back to reality. She looked up at the brunette next to her who sat with a concerned look on her face. She looked at her bedside table, where the borrowed ring sat, spotted with dried blood, and at her knuckles where a distinct bruise was forming.

"Vaguely," Lina rubbed her chin.

"I think you tried to kick that turian, too," Andrea added. "He pulled you away and you kept trying to get back to Apo."

"I kicked Garrus?" Lina's voice faltered. "Oh, I feel bad now."

"So when you break a fellow soldier's nose, it's 'Good', but when you kick an alien, causing little to no harm, you feel bad?" Andrea lifted an eyebrow. "I have yet to understand you."

"Well he was nice," the redhead replied. "And that Greek kid is just an ass."

Andrea rolled her eyebrows.

"Well I wasn't the only one who went home with a C-Sec agent last night," she smiled.

"What?"

"The only way they would let you go is if you were taken home, and seeing as I was busy with my own officer-"

"Academy kid," Lina corrected.

"Whatever, anyway, seeing as I couldn't, that guy- Garrus?- dragged you back here and presumably put you to bed."

"Well, I'm glad that you have your priorities in order, Drea."

Lina sat back in her bed and downed the rest of her coffee.

"I feel like a fool," she said. "That's the last time I let you drag me out."

"How about next time don't sneak off to who knows where with some random alien and get shitfaced. God only knows what happened out there," Andrea stood and walked to her locker to get changed.

"The lake," Lina murmured.

"Hmmm?"

"He took me to this spot where we could see the lake in the Presidium," Lina continued. "And we only talked. That much I remember." She paused a moment longer and saw Andrea looking at her, "it was nice."

"Well I don't think anyone here would like you canoodling with a turian," Andrea spat. The way she said the last word was full of spite.

"Aren't I promoting peaceful relations between us by befriending one?"

Andrea sighed, pulling a pair of pyjamas and a towel out of her locker.

"Whatever," she said finally. "Do you want the light on?"

"No, I'm going to try to sleep more," Lina set the empty coffee cup on her bedside table and crawled back under the covers.

The lights remained on for a moment before the silence was broken by Andrea again.

"Are you going to see him again?" she asked.

Lina sat up again and met her room mate's eye, cocking an eyebrow.

"You're making it sound like it was a date," she responded.

"I mean," Andrea rolled her eyes and ignored that remark. "I have my own opinions about turians and all that, but at least you'd be going out. And if you trust him then there must be something good about him."

Lina smirked, "I don't know, I don't think he would want to see me again after I made such an ass of myself."

Andrea bit her lip, "Well, I think you should."

Lina grinned, "Then, I will."

Andrea nodded and turned back into the bathroom. Lina slid under the covers again as Andrea reached for the light switch.

She was asleep again before the lights went out.

/-/

When she awoke again it was after noon. Her head felt better and before doing anything else she decided to go to the gym.

Her workout was short, simple. During her curls she found that it did hurt to grip her right hand- probably a result of the beating she had given the night before. She also found that the other soldiers were avoiding her. Probably a result of word travelling quickly of the night before.

After a long hot shower, she threw on a pair of black walking shorts and a white tee. She gathered her books and had planned to spend the rest of the afternoon in the library, getting some studying done when she checked her comm. There was a new message.

_How is the hand, and the face? That was a joke. About the headbutting and punching. Moving on. In case you don't know, this is Garrus, the painfully handsome turian that got you smashed enough to beat up some random kid. You unwisely gave me your number before our dramatic re-entry into the club. I was wondering, late breakfast? I can imagine you are hungry for both food and with the overwhelming desire to see me again. Don't worry- it happens to the best of us._

Lina suppressed a giggle, trying to not wake her still sleeping room mate. She let her gaze wander over to the brunette in the other bed. Pursing her lips, she thought about what Andrea had said a few short hours before.

"_If you trust him then there must be something good about him."_

Aw, hell, she thought, cracking a grin. I can get a quick breakfast and then go study later.

She threw her books into a canvas backpack and threw the straps over her shoulder. She opened her comm to type a message back.

_Where? Also, you're buying_.

\-\

The rapid transit could be extremely crowded, and for a first time user it could also be difficult to navigate- this much Garrus knew. Why he continued to wait, laying on a park bench, only half reading the news on the opaque orange screen of his omni tool, was starting to fall beyond the reach of his knowledge. It had been close to half an hour since he sent her the directions and she'd responded with a quick '_on the way!_'. How hard was it? The trip would normally take ten minutes, tops. Rapid Transit to Zakera ward, then get out and go up the west...

Oh, shoot, he thought, quickly sitting up. Did I say west or east stairs?

He pulled up his sent messages and scanned through them.

_Take the CRT to zakera station and head up the east stairs, level 32. It's right outside the staircase._

He let out several profanity-riddled comments about his inability to think properly around girls, and pressed the screen to call the likely confused human.

Across the sector, Lina answered her comm.

"So there is no restaurant on the east side of Zakera ward, I've been up and down the stairs and spoken to several people here," she remarked in lieu of a proper greeting. "There is, however, a gift shop with a very pushy asari who tried to sell me a fish when I asked her for directions. Maybe I can cook that and eat it."

She could hear Garrus groan on the other end.

"I am so sorry, it's the west staircase you're to go up," he replied, letting out a small laugh. "I can meet you at the bottom-"

"West side it is," Lina snapped up her backpack and walked towards the other staircase. "I'm sure I can find my way up."

"I'm sorry again," he said before disconnecting the call.

He groaned again and pressed his palms against his eyes.

You choad, he chastised himself inwardly. One day, can you go one day without making yourself appear foolish?

Evidently not, he thought as he spotted the redhead walk up the staircase and check the floor number before emerging completely.

"Shepard!" he called and raised his arm slightly to catch her attention. She smirked and skipped over to him.

"Yeah, you are definitely buying," she said as he stood from the bench. "I am starving now. I strongly considered eating one of those fish."

"Why didn't you try the other staircase when you didn't find it?" he asked, putting an arm around her shoulder to guide her towards to restaurant.

"Two reasons," she said, moving slightly out of his reach. "The first being that I figured as a C-Sec officer you would know the area inside and out wouldn't make such a silly mistake; the second being that I asked several people downstairs and none of them seemed to know about any restaurant on level 32."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence," Garrus smiled and let Lina into the shop before him. "But I'm afraid that the others may not have been entirely honest. Most people around here aren't fond of humans, especially since there's been an increase of humanity's presence in the last year."

"So you bring me to an area of the wards that isn't fond of humans," she mused, stepping into the line to wait for a table. She observed the other customers in the place- all of them were alien. "To a restaurant where I am currently the only human patron. I'm now asking myself whether or not I'll be able to eat anything here."

Lina could feel her stomach rumble- it did not enjoy that last idea. Of course, the smells wafting from the kitchen seemed familiar. She could swear she heard the sizzling of bacon on a grill. But there were, mixed in, some unfamiliar scents, ones that worried her. She had heard that she could risk illness, even anaphylaxis, by eating dextro-amino based foods. She had risked it by sharing drinks with Garrus the night before, and part of her sickness this morning could have been a result of that.

Of course, it also could have been from the whiskey.

Ugh, she thought one last time. Whiskey.

Garrus didn't respond, letting an easy smile across his face. He could understand her worry, but still found her distrust a little amusing.

"You're very negative, aren't you?"

"I'm hungry and hungover, sue me."

Garrus' smile grew wider as Lina sighed and let her head drop. She felt a tap on the back of her head and looked up to see him pointing over her shoulder. She turned- he was pointing to the kitchen where she could see two sweaty, grease-covered humans working through the serving window.

"Do you trust this place now?" he asked.

Lina laughed and turned back towards him, hand covering her mouth as her cheeks flushed.

He brought you home last night, and put you into bed. He kept you from getting into more trouble, she thought. Of course he's going to bring you to a place you can both eat at. He's... attentive like that.

"I feel a bit better about it," she responded quietly, embarrassed.

A volus server showed them to their booth and handed them menus. They sat in silence while she poured over the menu, reading each of the dishes to find ingredients she was confident about. She found a large section of simple breakfast platters- eggs, meat, toast, potatoes- and picked a dish out of there. She looked away from her menu to see blue eyes looking into hers.

"Like I said, humanity's presence is growing. Of course the restaurants are going to keep up or risk alienating a large part of the population," the turian leaned back in the bench and folded his arms across his chest.

Lina smiled and leaned back herself. The cushions were worn out but comfortable, the floor almost looked like laminate tile and the feel of the place reminded her of diners back on earth. She suddenly craved a smoked meat sandwich and a pickle. She stretched her arms above her head as the server came back with coffee.

"So, Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec offer with a bad sense of direction, rescuer of assholes who are being beaten by small human females-" she joked, picking up her mug and raising it in his direction playfully. "What made you decide not to run far, far away after everything that happened last night?"

Garrus took a sip of his coffee and thought a moment before responding, "if I said 'the desire to see more' would that sound too corny?"

"A little," she smiled.

"Well I'm not the only member of this party- what made you come back?" he asked with a smirk, lifting his coffee cup towards her.

Lina sat back and lifted her coffee to her lips. What made her come back?

I can breathe, she thought. Suddenly, like an oxygen mask. Like the wounds are bandaged, healing. Like I'm being taken care of. Because he is listening, not hearing, and giving in equal amounts. Because this is something new- something I've never experienced before. Potential kinship, built on trust. And I want to feel more and give more in return. Because so much of my life until now has been hollow, miasmal. Because I too desire more- from life and from myself.

She looked back up.

"Same," she responded and sipped her coffee with a smile.

/-/

Lina felt the grass through her shirt, cool on her back. She looked up, watching as the artificial blue atmosphere and clouds faded away, welcoming the night sky. She took a deep breath of the clean, cool evening air, then snorted as a large piece of grass was pushed into her nostril. She flailed, knocking it out, then turned and hit Garrus on the shoulder as he laughed.

"Stop that!"

Her backpack lay a few feet away, textbooks forgotten. Studying was pushed completely out of her mind as she watched the stars appear, one by one, partially obscured by the nebulous cloud. Garrus' hand came up and pointed out a visible constellation. Some quiet music drifted out of one of the cafes and permeated the air, creating an extremely calming ambiance in the mostly unoccupied green space they were enjoying. She crossed her arms behind her head and closed her eyes, smiling as the breeze carried the scent of rainfall over to her. She heard some shuffling as Garrus sat up next to her.

"Well, dear, as much as I'd love to stay out all night with you again, I've got work that desperately needs to get done," he stood and stretched his back. "I've been avoiding it all day, and it appears as though you've been avoiding yours as well."

"Oh, yeah, I wanted to find a quiet place outside of N7 to do my work," Lina held her arms up to him, which he grabbed and pulled to help her up. "Everyone on campus keeps staring at me."

"Why's that?"

"Because I beat that Greek kid up."

"It isn't normal for humans to fight each other to settle disputes?"

"Not when you're working together, no," Lina walked over to where her backpack was and flung the straps over her shoulder. "Although it did make me feel better."

"Why don't you tell them off?" he asked and held out his hand for hers.

"Because we're supposed to be adults," she smirked, taking his hand and allowing him to lead her out of the park.

"Well, what would be the adult thing to do?" he asked.

Lina thought about it for a moment, "apologize, probably. Talk to him about it."

"So why don't you do that?"

Lina stopped walking and dropped her hand from his, suddenly angry. "Because I wasn't the only one who did wrong? Because he provoked me into hurting him?"

"Then, why don't you tell him that?" he asked, giving her a knowing smile.

Lina bit her lip in thought, then laughed.

"How can you always find the right thing to say?"

"Not always, you just haven't heard me say something totally horrible and awkward yet. Trust me, it will happen," he responded, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. "But, I am a cop, and sometimes need to act as a mediator in an argument. I have practice with this sort of thing."

Lina smiled, letting him pull her in the direction of the Rapid Transit station. He brought up the menu and chose the destination closest to N7. He turned to her, seeing her already smiling at him.

"This is where we depart," he said, watching as the transit car came up to them.

Lina only nodded, then adjusted her backpack and walked towards the shuttle. She threw the bag into it and stopped before getting in herself.

"So, you and I," she fiddled with her curls a bit nervously. "We should be friends."

Garrus gave her a surprised look, but smiled nonetheless.

"Well, why the hell not?" he asked, chuckling a bit.

"Same time next week?" Lina smiled.

Garrus nodded and waved as she lowered herself into the shuttle. She couldn't help but peek out the window as the car took off.

\-\

Two days later, Lina Shepard walked down the halls of the Alliance training facility. It was 8 AM and she was dressed in her uniform, coffee in one hand, datapad in the other, making her way to the first session of the week.

She glanced up from her orange datapad to see a few of her fellow officers gathered in the hallway, casting her nervous, disparaging looks as she walked past. Among them, of course, was Apo, sporting a black eye and a bandage across his nose that went well with the scornful look on his face.

Lina slowed to a stop, rubbing her temple as she did so.

If this is what it means to be an adult... she thought. Just swallow your damn pride, Shepard.

She turned back to the group, "Hey, Apo, can we talk?"

He looked shocked and a nod to the others in the group told them it was okay to go. Lina's eyebrow raised slightly as the two of them found themselves alone together in the hall. She allowed herself to let out a bated breath and lean against the wall next to him.

"Alright, here's the thing- I'm not sorry that I punched you in the face. You've been harassing me since day one and frankly it was starting to piss me off, and what you did was not cool, but what I did wasn't cool, either," she confessed. "So just, stop being such a pervert, and I promise I won't break anything else, okay?"

He continued to glare at her in silence.

"This is as close to an apology as you are ever going to get out of me," she finished. "Take it or leave it."

Apo considered her a moment, then nodded slowly. He held out his arms.

"Hug it out?"

"No," she replied. "You may never touch me."

"Not even a little?"

"Don't make me break your balls this time."

Apo crossed his arms over his chest and grinned. "You're such a freak, you know that Shepard?"

"And you're an asshole," she replied, raising her coffee cup in a mock toast. "To us, and our newfound agreement?"

"Here, here," he replied, bumping his fist gently against the cup in lieu of his own drink.

The two of them walked the rest of the way side by side in silence. On the way, Lina considered the circumstances of the past few days.

Here I am, she thought. Learning life lessons all over the place.


	4. Sleep All Day

Thank you everyone for all of the favourites, follows & reviews that have been flowing steadily into my inbox. I really appreciate all of the support!

Thanks always to Tara, my fabulous editor and soul mate, the Dude for all of the love, and to Mill Street, for the best beer in the world. (I've promoted you. Send free beer- Tankhouse or Lemon Tea will do)

Part one is called Sleep All Day.

/-/

Lina tapped her foot to the beat of the music while she read from her textbook. Her notes were piled precariously on the back of the worn out, comfortable couch that she was curled up on, back leaning against a pillow, her legs covered by a light blanket. She held a pen between her teeth, occasionally taking it out to wipe off the spit forming on it and circle something important in her notes.

Her finals were coming up. She was almost finished her training and was trying to jam as much knowledge into her head as she could before final testing began.

She looked over at the far end of the couch. Garrus sat there much in the same position, focusing on a datapad, using a stylus to scratch beneath his fringe. His notes, scribbled on sheets of paper, sticky notes, napkins, the backs of cigarette cartons- basically any blank piece of paper available at the time, were piled carefully at his feet where he could occasionally refer back to them before scribbling the information into the datapad.

Lina smiled and stuck her pen in between the pages of her textbook, marking her spot, and snapped it shut. She grabbed a chipped mug from where it sat on the floor and took a sip of the lukewarm chai tea before shutting her eyes.

It had been 8 months since she helped steal a bottle of Jim Beam from a bar and spent the evening getting drunk with an alien stranger. Since then she'd... well, she hadn't done a lot, other than slack off on her studies, which she was paying for now. The last few weeks of training sneaked up on her- while she spent the week wishing for the weekend, every weekend brought her closer to the end of the year.

Shit, she thought. Now I'm a week away from being off of this rock. Just when I was starting to enjoy it.

She looked back at the turian on the far end of the couch. He had the end of the pen in his mouth, biting it lightly while he concentrated on his datapad. She watched him in silence for a moment before speaking.

"Do you want to go out tonight?" she asked.

"Sure, where?" he responded, not looking up from the orange pad.

"Somewhere new?" she suggested.

Garrus let out a snort and asked with a smirk, "where's new?"

Lina thought. It was true- they had drank their way across the Wards. They were welcomed with open arms to some places- told never to return to others. Lina had grown accustomed to the small one-bedroom apartment with the broken climate control, and the bars surrounding it. Most nights it was more comfortable to go out, only returning to the apartment after they were buzzed enough not to notice the difference in temperature. Usually it was too hot- that's when they passed out on top of the sheets with the fans on and the windows open. Sometimes it was too cold- that's when it was handy to be sleeping next to someone who gave off so much heat.

She shivered a little and pulled the blanket further up. Tonight it was too cold in there, and she was less than cozy under the thin blanket in her sweatshirt and shorts. The windows were wide open but it didn't do much to help with the temperature inside the apartment.

"I wish I'd brought pants," she commented, tucking the blanket around her legs more.

Garrus looked up then, "you cold?"

"Freezing!"

"Well then get over here!" he set his stack of notes on the floor and pulled Lina to his side of the couch by her arm. She nestled herself next to him, letting him put his arm around her shoulders, and pulled the blanket over, tucking it around her legs once again. She was a lot warmer now, sitting next to him. She pressed herself against his side a bit more, her own personal space heater.

She closed her eyes and rested her head on his arm as he absentmindedly began to play with her hair. She let her mind wander while his talons tangled themselves in her curly locks.

It bothered her at first, the touching. How he would throw his arm around her shoulders, pull her closer, grab her waist to get her attention. She never liked to be touched, ever since she was a kid. She had her parents to thank for that distrust. She still had scars from the few times they touched her.

She brought this up with him, confiding in him some small bits of her dark childhood. She showed him the marks that were left behind as a reminder- the circular burns on her left forearm where it was pressed against the stove element. The small pieces of scar tissue on her side and back where she was forced through a glass door. Garrus was quiet for a long time after that. He'd seen the ones on her arm, but never asked out of respect for her privacy. He thought a while about how to explain himself.

"It's a turian thing, really," he had finally said. "When we're standing close to a person, or touching them, it's a sign that we trust them, or like them. If we stand apart from them, or move away from their touch, it's an insult."

Lina considered this for a moment.

They had been sitting on the grass in one of the many parks in the Wards. The breeze, warm, artificially manufactured to be so, blew back her hair a bit. She breathed in the recycled air.

"It's alright if you want me to stop," he continued. "I understand."

Lina pushed her hair back into it's place.

"Don't think that I don't like you, I do, it's just that I'm kind of fucked in the head about people," she responded, looking up into his bright blue eyes. "Give me time, I'm just slow to acclimatize myself."

Garrus nodded, smiling, and had to stop himself from pulling her over to him. Lina could tell that he was keeping himself from his instincts and she scooted over and allowed herself to lean against him, only slightly. He rested his hand on the grass behind her and resisted the temptation to give her cheek a small lick- another turian thing. He was happy enough just to be in her presence.

Lina opened her eyes. She was back on the couch, the same artificial breeze coming in through the open window. The monochromatic clock, shown always on the vid screen on the wall across from the couch, said just after 1500hrs. Garrus had stopped playing with her hair and was writing vigorously with the mangled pen.

She looked about the room, it was littered with her books and a few of his personal affects- photos, trinkets to mess with, computer parts, weapons taken apart for cleaning. The apartment itself was tiny- one small bedroom with a slightly bigger main room, a little kitchen and littler bathroom. The climate control was almost always broken and you could unlock the door with a good hard kick, but Garrus wouldn't consider moving. He liked it there- it was cheap, close to his work, and he couldn't be bothered to try to get the furniture out once he somehow managed to get it in there.

After they'd met and decided it was worth pursuing a friendship, Lina had started to spend her weekends out of the dorms. Usually she would spent Friday nights getting her studying done, downing coffee to stay awake for after midnight when Garrus was done work. She's pop by C-Sec, they'd hit up a bar before last call and stumble on back to his place where he would pass out on the couch, giving her the bed as a courtesy. She usually only slept over if they had been drinking. At first.

Now, almost a year after landing at the Citadel, Lina couldn't remember the last time she had spent the weekend in her dorm. She started crawling out to the couch at night, shivering with the cold or too hungover to handle breathing. She'd shuffle herself in next to him, letting his warmth overwhelm her, better than any blanket. He'd rub her back and lightly scratch her scalp, better than any painkiller. His pleasant smell would lull her back to sleep. Eventually they shared his bed.

She and her room mate got a lot much better now that Andrea had the freedom to bang whoever she wanted without waking up the grumpy redhead. They still had tiffs, occasionally. Despite the strides Lina was making with Garrus in terms of friendship and trust, she still had barriers with others- including her classmates. The list still existed, but was put into effect much less often. She was still an unattainable bitch in their books. Lina made sure of it.

She opened her eyes again. The room was significantly darker now- the vid screen was on, tuned to the news, and the clock in the corner of it showed 1612hrs. She thought of what day it was- Saturday.

Damn, she thought. Weekend is half over already?

Sitting next to her, leaning his head against her own, fingers once again tangled in her hair, Garrus watched the day's news. The papers and datapad he was concentrated on so intently before were stacked neatly on the end table next to him. He looked down when he felt her move and smiled.

"Good nap?" he asked.

Lina nodded and stretched herself out, straightening her legs down the length of the couch. Her stomach suddenly rumbled.

"Is there any food?" she asked, rubbing her belly.

"I'll go see," Garrus smiled and lightly touched his forehead to hers- something Lina now recognized as a sign of affection. She shifted herself so he could get up and took advantage of the now empty space, laying her head on the armrest and stretching her legs out as far as she could. She grabbed the remote control for the vid screen and changed the channel, putting on cartoons.

She heard shuffling about in the kitchen and Garrus walked back out after a few minutes with a bowl and two forks. He sat down on the floor by her head and passed her a fork. Lina peeked in the bowl and saw a salad with vegetables she mostly recognized and a few she did not. She speared a tomato and munched on it happily.

"When is your first final?" he asked, bringing up a forkful of salad.

"Monday morning," Lina responded with a full mouth. She chewed and swallowed quickly. "Then one Monday night, one Tuesday and nothing again until Friday. My whole damn week is taken up with studying."

"So what's after that?" he asked, holding up the bowl for her so she could grab some more. "After you graduate and everything?"

"I'll find out this week which ship I'm assigned to, and then, yeah, I start working," Lina replied, eyes glued to the cartoons on the screen. She broke away briefly to see where she was stabbing her fork, and caught sight of the look on the turian's face.

Over the past months, Lina had grown familiar with Garrus' expressions, despite how different they were to human's. A slight flicker of his mandibles could give away his mood. Right now, his cheeks pulled tight, a slight clicking sound in his throat, his face expressed worry.

"What?"she asked, pulling her fork out of the bowl. She flicked off the dextro-based veggies and munched on some lettuce and avocado.

"Well," he said, pushing the salad around with his own fork. "I'm just wondering..."

"Where you'll fit?" she asked with a patronizing smirk.

Damn, he thought, she's getting too good.

He put down the salad bowl and tapped his pointer fingers together, nodding a bit.

"I'll likely be stationed on the Citadel," she said, plucking another tomato out of the bowl. "So I'll be back and forth every couple of weeks."

She saw his mandibles slack a bit- less worry.

"Reeeeally?"

Lina nodded.

"I don't know for sure yet, but Anderson was hinting that Captain Merrill from the SSV Irving was desperate to hire me as a weapons officer," she said, eyes wandering back to the cartoons on the vid screen. "The Irving makes rounds between the Citadel and colonies in the Terminus systems every few weeks, bringing supplies and scouting for merc activity."

She looked back down at her turian friend who had turned and was leaning his arm on the couch, eyes down, playing with a loose piece of thread.

"Sooooo," he mumbled, talon slicing the string from the cushion. He looked back up, meeting her eyes suddenly, "room for Garrus?"

She smiled, "_Always_ room for Garrus."

He smiled and turned back to fork the salad yet again.

"So where are you going to stay?"he asked gingerly.

"Well, the Alliance has barracks I can stay in, but I might get my own place. It'd be nice to have a place to call home," she replied, setting her fork down and getting comfortable on the couch yet again.

"You don't consider this place home?"

"Well, yeah, but it's _your_ home."

Garrus paused, playing with the food for a moment, giving away his anxiety. Lina, smirking, could already tell where this was going.

"It could be your home," he said quickly, not looking up.

Lina sat up, a large grin growing on her face. She loved when he got all nervous.

"What was that?" she asked, perfectly aware of what he just said.

"I mean," he relented. "You're here all the time already, most of your stuff's here, you've got a key..." 

"You mean I know how to let myself in..."

"Key or kick, whatever, you know how to unlock the door."

"Garrus are you asking me to move in with you?" Lina asked, swinging her legs off the cushion and crouching on the floor next to her friend.

Garrus didn't look over, opting instead to scrape some dirt off of the laminate.

"I mean, there's no point in paying for an apartment that you'll spend a couple weeks a year in..."

"Garrus," she grabbed his fringe, pulling it back to lift his head. "Ask me, straight up!"

"Ow!" he knocked her hand off of his head and scowled as he turned towards her. Despite the angry look he attempted to pull, Lina could still see his mandibles quivering.

She rolled her eyes. He could be such a choad sometimes.

"Repeat after me. Will-"

The turian hesitated and let out a sigh, "Will..."

"You-"

"You..."

"Moooooooooooooooove..." she playfully walked her fingers up his arm.

"Move in here Lina Shepard?" he knocked her hand off his arm.

Her smile grew wider.

"Same sleeping arrangements?"

"Works for me."

"No random girls in the bed while I'm gone?"

Garrus chuckled, "No random boys in the bed while I'm here?"

Lina sat back, putting on a sultry look, a combination of numbers two and five on the list, "No guarantees of that..." she waggled her eyebrows.

"Alright, _Andrea,_" he teased.

Her jaw dropped.

That's right, she thought. That shit doesn't work on him.

"Ouch!" she moaned. "Right for the jugular!"

"I hit 'em where they hurt," he winked.

Lina sat back, smile returning to her face.

"Well, alright," she said. She pulled herself off of the floor and padded barefoot to the kitchen, shivering as her feet made contact with the cold tile. "Shall we celebrate this newfound union with beer?"

"Yes!"he called, and before she could ask, "Ale!"

Lina pulled two bottles from the fridge, one Palaven-Style Ale, made there on the Citadel, and an India Pale Ale, an export, that cost four times more in the Wards than it did on Earth. Lina usually saved it for a special occasion, and hesitated only momentarily before popping off the cap and taking a swig.

What occasion is more special than this? She thought.

She brought both bottles into the living room, passing the strange-smelling turian brew to Garrus. They clinked their bottles together and Lina took a swig, letting herself fall back onto the couch. He sat on the ground still, eyes fixated on the vid screen. She watched him for a moment, then she leaned in, planting a kiss on his cheek.

He looked over, surprised.

"You're good to me," she said.

"I try," he replied.

She slid off the couch, crawling next to him and wedging herself under his arm for warmth. She stretched, wiped the sleep from her eyes, and held onto him. He held onto her, too.

\-\

Andrea was spread out on the floor when Lina got back to the barracks. Her hair was frazzled and her notes were all over the place, pens and textbooks scattered around in seemingly random piles. She had managed to steal a coffee maker from the cafeteria and had it plugged in, brewing another pot as she drained the mug that was taped to her left hand. She swung around as Lina walked in. Her face was pale and her eyes were dark and baggy, her movements darted. She lifted her mugged hand to the redhead in greeting before turning back to the sheets.

"That has to be difficult," Lina said, pointing at the ridiculous amount of black tape wrapped around her hand.

"Thought it was a good idea at first, turns out I was wrong," Andrea replied quickly, not lifting her head from the notebooks. "Now I can't get it off."

Lina dropped her canvas pack on the floor next to her bed and walked over to the brunette, planting herself on the floor next to her. She attempted to tear the tape off but the girl growled and pulled her hand away, claiming "it's fine!" and growling "get away! You're messing up my notes!"

Lina sat on her room mate's bed and watched the chaos ensue. Andrea scribbled viciously on her textbooks, a very determined if twitchy look about her face.

"Soo... I take it you're ready for tomorrow?" Lina asked innocently.

"Not even, totally forgot," Andrea replied, waving her hands about animatedly, splashing lukewarm coffee everywhere. "Was with a cute guy, forget his name, but he was nice."

"You haven't studied at all?" Lina cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, I kicked him out last night and took the coffee maker and started studying then. Been going about 26 hours now," she replied.

Lina shook her head, "Okay, I'm taking this off of you."

She squatted down and pulled the tape off of Andrea's hand, ignoring the growls coming from the girl's throat. She dumped out the rest of the coffee and unplugged the brewer before pulling the brunette off of the floor and pushing her onto her bed.

"Get some sleep, take the exam in the morning, I'll study with you for the next one afterwards," she said, pulling the girl's jeans off and tossing them on the floor. "This isn't healthy. You need sleep more than you need to study."

Andrea fought back a bit, but eventually succumbed to the warmth of her bed. Just before she fell asleep completely, her eyes snapped back open and she sat up straight, pointing at the redhead as she was collecting the notes from the floor.

"What are you wearing?" she demanded, not dropping her finger.

"Um," Lina looked down at herself, confused. "Shorts and a t-shirt?"

"No, to graduation!"

"Oh!" The redhead straightened. "I don't know, my uniform?"

"After! After! Formal dinner!" Andrea snapped her fingers with each word.

"God, I don't know!" Lina admitted. "It's formal? Like, _dress_ formal?"

Andrea nodded vigorously.

Lina sat on the edge of the bed and thought. All she owned other than her uniform and armour were some torn up jeans and t-shirts, nothing that could be considered remotely formal. She turned back to the brunette, who was still pointing accusingly, and shrugged.

"I don't own a dress," she insisted. "I guess I'll have to-"

"Take you shopping, Tuesday, afterwards," Andrea snuggled back down into her bed, but gave Lina one last look before shutting her eyes completely. "Be warned, I am a _very_ aggressive shopper!"

Lina looked forwards as the brunette started to snore loudly.

"Jesus Christ, what have I gotten myself into?"

/-/

"Jesus Christ, what have I gotten myself into?" Lina asked herself as she watched Andrea tear through the racks of clothing. Standing beside her, even the asari shopkeeper looked impressed as Andrea pulled out articles and shoved them into Lina's outstretched arms with breakneck speed and precision.

Her head lifted suddenly, eyes wide with wild determination, she whispered the word "maroon" and headed towards another rack.

"What the fuck is maroon?" Lina asked.

"It's a reddish-purple colour, it'll look good with your eyes," Andrea replied, pulling a shirt off of the rack and holding it up to the redhead, checking the colour against her face. She plopped the shirt onto the pile, "This is _great_."

Lina rolled her eyes, "I would never wear any of this stuff, you know."

"You don't need to _ever_ wear it, you need to wear it _once_, for like, three hours," Andrea replied, digging through the pile in the redhead's arms. "Then you can throw it in the back of the closet and never look at it again, I promise."

"Yeah, thanks for the permission," Lina rolled her eyes and sighed. In her back pocket, she could feel her comm vibrating, indicating a new message. She passed the pile to the brunette and pulled it out, flipping it open as she did. "Hold that stuff up and I'll tell you what to get rid of. Prepare to get rid of a lot."

Lina read the message quickly, punching a reply into it.

"This?" Andrea held up a slinky black dress, waggling her eyebrows. The neck line was cut so low Lina could only imagine her tits popping out of it the moment she moved.

"I don't do dresses," Lina glared at the thing. "Especially ones that leave nothing to the imagination."

Andrea glared, passing the castoff to the poor asari shopgirl. She pulled out another dress, this one green. At least Lina assumed it was a dress. Although it had a higher neckline, held up against Andrea, she could see that it ended way to far up on her thighs. Lina's comm vibrated again, and she drew a finger across her neck before she checked the message. She chuckled and punched in a reply.

Andrea held up a third dress, equally as horrible as the other two, and asked, "who's making you blush so badly?"

Lina scoffed, "I'm not _blushing_."

Andrea, lifted an eyebrow, not convinced.

"And who else do I talk to other than you?"

"Gaaaaarrrrrrus?" she slinked her way over and put her head on Lina's shoulder, trying to read the message.

"Yes, and I told you, I don't do dresses," Lina plucked the garment out of Andrea's hands without even looking at it and gave it to the asari. "Sorry about all of this."

"It's fine," the asari replied, eyeing the mess Andrea had made with an exasperated sigh. "But, if you don't mine my asking, if you won't do a dress... would you wear a skirt?"

Lina stopped to consider this, much to the chagrin of Andrea. Hesitantly, she nodded.

"But it depends," she said. "It can't be a little tiny club skirt like the one that you are currently holding up Andrea for the love of god put that down."

Andrea scowled, putting down the miniskirt she had pulled off of the rack. The asari walked away, coming back moments later with a small selection.

Lina, with the help of the other two, eventually settled on a black pencil skirt and the maroon blouse Andrea had been so intent on getting earlier. Lina changed into them, happy enough with the outfit as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Andrea, almost giddy, buttoned the half sleeves on Lina's shirt.

"This colour is great on you," she said, fixing the collar at the back. "Really makes your eyes pop. Now, for shoes, would you prefer to wear flats or do you think you could try some small heels to make your room mate happy?"

Lina turned slowly back to her room mate, a smirk on her face.

"This may come as a surprise, Andrea," she put her hands on her hips, suddenly feeling saucy. "But I can rock it in heels."

Andrea squealed and clapped her hands before pulling the elastic out of Lina's hair. Lina gave an annoyed look.

"Now we have to do something with this mess," Andrea fluffed it out and looked in the mirror. "Curls are nice and all but definitely don't go with this look."

"Drea, my hair is just fine the way it-" Lina stopped herself as she caught sight of it in the mirror. She frowned. "Fine, whatever, it looks like shit. Do what you want."

Andrea squealed and pulled some down with her fingers, getting an idea of how it would look straight.

"I'm totally taking my flat iron to this mother," she clucked her tongue and played around with it a bit. "Why on earth do you shave the sides?"

"Because it makes a rockin' mohawk," Lina gave the devil horns and stuck out her tongue, giving herself a tough look in the mirror. On the table, her comm vibrated. She reached down to snatch it.

"With the curls?"

"No, my hair was never this curly until I moved to the Citadel. It was just kind of... wavy before. The recycled air dries it out like mad," Lina flipped her comm open and smiled at the message, ignoring Andrea's insistence that "conditioner will fix that..."

"What's Gaaaaaarrus got to say?" Andrea leaned on Lina's shoulders again.

"He's trying to find coattails," Lina rolled her eyes. "He's so fucking dorky sometimes."

"Coattails?" Andrea giggled. "For what?"

"For the grad reception," Lina replied, typing a response in.

"Why is he coming to the grad reception?" Andrea asked, confused. "Isn't your family going to be there?"

Lina froze.

Fuck, she thought. How to I get myself out of this?

She closed the comm and walked back into the change room, closing the door behind her. Not that it offered much privacy, the tall brunette could see over the stall door anyway.

"Lina?" she asked as she peeked over the top of the door. "Why aren't your parents coming?"

Lina sucked in her breath as she pulled her tattered jeans back on.

"I don't talk to my parents, okay?" she said, threading her arms through the armholes in her t-shirt. "Don't ask, I'm not going to talk about it. I haven't seen them in a long time and I don't plan on seeing them now."

Andrea gave her a sad look over the stall door as Lina gathered her shoes.

"Well, okay," she said, picking up Lina's backpack where it sat on the floor. The redhead pulled open the door and sat on one of the chairs in the store, stuffing her feet into her red hi-tops.

She looked up, beside her Andrea was giving a hangdog expression, sad, a little dejected, but still curious. Lina moaned and rubbed her palms into her eyes. She held up her left forearm, pointing out the circular burns.

"You see this?" she asked, staring the brunette straight in the eyes.

Andrea nodded.

"My mother gave me this," she said. "My father did worse things. I don't have any other siblings that I know of. So no, my family is not going to be there."

Andrea nodded, "I see."

The silence was deafening as Lina walked up to the counter to purchase her items. It hung in the air, awkward, choking her until they walked out of the store. Andrea put a hand on her shoulder before she could walk away wordlessly.

"Do you want to go get a drink?" she asked.

Lina stopped to think of a reason not to. She should really study. She had to wash her hair. She'd rather jump off a bridge. Her comm vibrated again, and she flicked it open without looking, expecting a response from Garrus.

"I don't know, I've got to..." she looked down absentmindedly, quickly reading the message before slamming it shut and looking back up at the brunette. "Yes, please. Let's go get very drunk, very, very, quickly."

Andrea shook her head, shocked. Lina turned to stalk off to the nearest bar.

"What?" Andrea asked, pulling the redhead's arm to stop her. "What happened? Is everything okay?"

Lina turned and opened her comm again, praying that she had misread the message. She hadn't.

"It's Anderson," she said, referring to the Commander, and overseer of the N7 Citadel campus.

"Well?" Andrea asked, concerned.

"I have to give a fucking speech."

\-\

Part 2 will be soon!

By the way, whenever I think of Lina and Garrus watching cartoons, I imagine them watching Beavis and Butthead.


	5. Chasing the Moonlight

I love dinner parties. Actually, that's a lie. I love dinner parties that my friends and I throw, with the mismatched utensils and many, many bottles of wine consumed. Our cheap shoes and loud music and conversation that always ends up reverting to dirty talk. We are a fabulous bunch of people.

So at _real_ dinner parties with waiters and crystal glasses and Bach's Concerto in E Major in the background, I feel a little uncomfortable. I look over at the Dude in his thrift store suit and he looks at me in the crinkled dress I hastily pulled from the back of the closet twenty minutes before we left and we crack up, the absurdity of it all. But at least the social lubricant keeps on coming.

Which is why I only attend parties with an open bar. My god, the ass I've made of myself before.

Take me or leave me, folks.

As always, thanks to the fabulous Tara for her comments and correcting my atrocious punctuation. To the Dude for all of the love. To Rudiger and the boys for all of the laughs and to Neil Young for the inspiration.

Chapter 5 is called Chasing the Moonlight.

/-/

Lina Shepard, scourge of the N7 graduating class, top ranked soldier in her basic training, highly intelligent, can break your nose with her face.

Valedictorian seemed the appropriate title for her, but that didn't keep her from puking her guts into the sink in anxiety.

"Public speaking," she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Fuck public speaking."

"It comes with the job," Andrea replied lazily, already drunk. She clumsily poured another margarita from the pitcher into Lina's glass. "Drink! Drink! Liquid courage and all that!"

The tequila probably wasn't helping to settle her stomach, but Lina took the glass and drank anyway.

Saturday had come far too quickly, in her opinion. She spent most of Wednesday trying to find a way out of giving a speech, and her short meeting with Anderson hadn't helped. He told her to speak from the heart, which was far from helpful. Garrus wasn't any help, either, he laughed and messed up her hair and told her to be honest. Andrea recalled her valedictorian speech, where she was high out of her tree and spouted a bunch of bullshit about friendship and how they "finally made it!" before staring at her hands, giggling for several minutes. It had brought a raucous level of laughter out of Lina, but also wasn't of much help. She had flipped through some pre-written speeches on the extranet, but all of them felt fake, forced, and by then it was late, she was getting bored of the idea and her mind wandered elsewhere, leaving her speech unwritten.

Her class had finished their testing and spent most of Friday night celebrating. Lina left quickly, desperate to get away from the rest of them, and met up with Garrus after his shift.

She had completely forgotten about the damn thing until after the graduation ceremony, when she and Andrea were changing for the formal reception with a few drinks. Andrea had innocently asked what she was going to talk about, and that's when the vomiting began.

Although she was nervous, Lina couldn't help but feel a pang of satisfaction deep inside her. When they had first joined, she and Andrea were constantly fighting, trying to outdo one another. Being the only two girls in the small program, they both had tried to prove they were better than the boys. Eventually they became friends, the competing subsided, but now that Lina had definitive proof that she was the victor, she felt pretty damn good.

Of course, that victory came with a price.

The idea of public speaking... was not a favourable thing. She already hated crowds of people, trying to avoid them at any cost, and being at the centre of attention in that crowd seemed so much worse.

She ran her hands through her curls. She still needed to take a shower. Her hair smelled like vomit and sweat and old people. She closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower to its hottest setting, removing her uniform and dropping it on the floor before stepping in.

The ceremony had been long and boring and hot. The hall was tiny, inappropriately sized for the number of people in there. She wasn't sure if the climate control was broken or if they just hadn't bothered to turn the air conditioning on, one last test for the students in their heavy uniforms, jackets and all. A great number of the crowd was old retired Alliance officers that she had never met before, and most of them gave long winded speeches about their own time in the service, the First Contact War, how they would never fraternize with aliens, etc. Lina was _this close_ to breaking her blank stare, an eye roll just _itching_ to show itself, when the applause started and they were allowed to move again. Just in time.

Lina rubbed the shampoo into her hair. She remembered surveying the crowd when handshakes and congratulations were going around, and she caught a flash of cobalt blue. Garrus was supposed to be on shift, he was to meet up with her later. He had snuck out to watch.

She smiled, had tried to catch up with him, but Andrea caught her elbow first, introduced Lina to her family, suggested they go drink and wash the old people smell out of their hair. For once, Lina agreed with her.

She turned off the taps and let the droplets run down her back for a moment before she reached for her towel. The bathroom was steamy and warm, which only helped spread the smell of bile from the sink. Disgusted, she turned on the cold tap and watched her failure wash down the drain.

As Lina steppedout of the bathroom in just a towel Andrea gave her a catcall from her desk chair, then continued singing along, loudly, and off-key, to the music playing from her workstation. Lina rolled her eyes and opened her wardrobe, stepping behind the door for privacy as she put on some old clothes to sit in while she dried off.

"Woop it up," she said sarcastically. "But I don't know how you're supposed to do my hair when you're wasted."

Andrea winked and downed the last of her drink, "Don't worry, I can still work my magic!"

"Well work your magic while I write this stupid thing." Lina sat at her own desk and pulled out the pitiful page of scribbled notes that she had written when she had half-assed researched topics a few days earlier. She groaned.

Andrea came out of the washroom with a few vile-looking instruments of torture- a hairbrush, blow dryer and flatiron, as well as a spray can filled with who knows what. Lina groaned again.

"It's a lot easier than you're making it seem," Andrea rolled her eyes as she plugged in the blow dryer. "Say a bunch of bull about friendship and learning, that's what I did. I babbled on for like ten minutes before they pulled me off stage."

"You mentioned that." Lina replied, wincing as Andrea pulled the brush through the knots in her hair.

"Well, what do you have to work with so far?"

Lina held up the sheet of paper, the only worthy thing written on it was a quote she had pulled from the extranet.

"Not bad, not bad," Andrea handed the paper back with a surprisingly steady hand. She fiddled with the blow dryer until it was bellowing out air at the appropriate speed and temperature.

Lina grimaced.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" she asked nervously. "I've never been one to care about my hair before, but this is not the right time for me to lose it."

"You know what you need to do, Lina Shepard?" Andrea leaned her head down so she was face to face with Lina. "You need to TRUST ME." she finished, yelling the last two words.

Lina leaned away from Andrea's face, and covered her nose, "Hard to trust you when your breath reeks of tequila and shame. And something else with a distinctly salty undertone."

"Watch what you say, I might accidentally burn you," the brunette gently shoved Lina's head with the brush she was holding.

Andrea leaned back up and started drying the wild mess of red curls.

"Besides, we're friends now, remember?" Andrea fiddled around a bit. "And I've done this a million times."

Lina sighed and submitted to the brunette's hands. It did feel kinda nice to have someone playing with her hair. Her eyes wandered back to the workstation in front of her and she groaned, read over her notes one more time, and started to type.

\-\

Garrus sat on the low wall of a flower bed, staring across the walkway at the banquet hall. He could feel stares as people walked past, wondering what a turian was doing in an area that was densely human. Outside of the hall he could see a large gathering of humans, men dressed in suits with those dangling pieces of fabric that looked like they were choking them, the women in long, colourful dresses.

He tapped his foot, feeling impatient. It was stupid, really, how antsy he was feeling. As a sniper he was trained to sit still, waiting for his target for hours, but when it came to Shepard he... well, he found it hard to concentrate. He looked down. Sitting on the concrete wall beside him was a small black box adorned with a deep red bow. It sat there, taunting him. He briefly considered burying it in the soft soil of the garden instead of having to work up the guts to give it to her.

He picked it up instead, studying the bow. It was tied in a way that one pull at the tail and the whole thing would unravel. It was quite the thing to watch, the asari shop keeper's small hands quickly and expertly looping the ribbon around itself. He looked down at his own clawed, calloused talons and wondered if he could ever build something so delicate.

He thought back to the weekend before, when she was sleeping, leaning against his side. He finished his reports and looked down, not wanting to disturb her by moving. He pushed her curls back from her face, tucking them behind her ear when he first noticed. Two tiny little holes in the lobe of her ear. He didn't think anything of it at the time but after she had gone back to the dorms, curiosity got the better of him and he looked it up on the extranet. Why humans would punch holes in their face (and after deeper searching, he found that some did in much, _much_ more private parts of their body) to put jewellery in was totally beyond him, but if Lina was into it, why not? He wanted to get her a gift for graduating, anyway, why not...

He was brought back to his senses when a quick succession of heels clacking on pavement permeated the air. He looked up and saw Lina and her roommate walk into view, arm in arm, both stumbling a little. Andrea stopped, waved at a small group of humans near the entrance, and turned to Lina, adjusting her hair and hugging her quickly before joining the crowd. Lina turned around, snapping her fingers as she scanned the area.

She looked different- her usually curly hair was flat and braided back on one side, revealing the shaved side of her head. The deep red of her shirt made her green eyes pop, and the tight black skirt showed off hips that he was not aware that she had. She was wearing shoes that brought her height up another three inches, hooking her ankles. He smiled when it dawned him that in those shoes, she looked much more like a turian female...

He shook his head, getting the thought out. At that moment, Lina spotted him, and gave a small wave as a huge smile spread across her face. He waved back.

She bounced across the street, her black heels clicking with every step. She approached him and placed her hands on her hips.

"So uh," she smirked. "What are you all dressed up for? Don't you know this is a private party?" she teased.

"Damn!" he replied. "So I guess I can't share my emergency stash of gin with you, hmm?" he reached into his dress shirt and pulled a small flask out of a hidden pocket.

Lina laughed, reaching into the small black purse she carried and pulled out a tiny flask of her own, shaking it a little in front of him. Garrus' mouth fell open.

"By the spirits," he shook his head. "You are perfect, do you know that?"

She laughed in response, brushing some dirt off of the wall and sitting next to him. She looked her friend up and down, nodding approvingly as she did so.

He was wearing was she recognized as turian formal wear. A long sleeved shirt in shades of black, grey and dark blue. She had to admit, he cleaned up nice.

"No coattails?" she jokes.

"Believe it or not, it's impossible to find a dinner jacket that will fit a turian," he responded. "I asked one guy if he could make one and he told me to get out of his store. I think he thought I was making fun of him."

Lina shook her head, "Touchy, touchy humans."

"It's a shame, I think I would be very becoming in a suit," he grinned.

"If I were a suit I'd be coming onto you too!" Lina burst into a fit of giggles and leaned against him for support.

He laughed, more at the stupidity than the joke, and turned, "You are drunk already."

Lina nodded, "I had a little tequila."

"Some gin should help that," he joked, passing her his flask.

Lina took a sip and passed it back to him. He indulged in a little himself. She looked down at his other side, spotting the black box.

"What's that?" she asked.

Garrus picked up the box and examined it one last time before passing it to her, pressing it into her hands. Lina hesitated a moment, meeting his eyes, and bit her lip.

"For me?" she asked, her eyelashes, subtly made up, fluttered a bit.

"Aww, hell, no wonder you use those 'techniques'," he laughed. "You are kind of adorable when you do it."

"I wasn't-" she protested, slapping his arm. She paused, "You think I'm cute?"

"I'll never admit it again," he looked straight forwards, taking a nip from the flask.

Lina smirked, "Cock."

"You love the abuse."

She ignored him and admired the ribbon for a moment, seeing how the colour matched her top, before pulling it off, letting it fall. Garrus caught it. She slowly opened the box. Inside were two pearl earrings inset on silver pins. She lifted her free hand to her mouth in shock.

"My god, Garrus, they're beautiful," her voice went soft. "What gave you the idea?"

He shrugged, "I saw that you have your ears... pierced?"

Lina nodded her head.

"And I noticed that you've never worn any jewellery in them. I thought if you had something nice you might actually wear them."

Lina leaned over, slipping her hand behind his neck. She brought his face down, pressing her forehead against his own. She handed the box to him and removed one stud from it, then pressed the pin through the hole in her earlobe.

"Thank you," she said quietly after securely fixing the back of the stud. "This is so nice of you. I feel like the subject of a Vermeer painting."

Garrus snapped the empty box shut and placed it in the pocket of his trousers, giving her a confused look. She waved off the comment with "It's an Earth thing."

"I considered a necklace but I didn't want to imply anything." he said, watching her push through the second pin.

Lina cocked an eyebrow, "Imply what?"

Then she got it. Pearl necklace. Her eyes narrowed.

Somewhere, a cricket chirped, a dog barked, and the Citadel spun, creating centrifugal force.

"Did I ruin the moment by saying something perverted?" he asked, grinning, perfectly aware of his statement.

"Yes," she replied. "Now hold still while I rip out your spine."

He grinned. She rolled her eyes and looked at the entrance to the banquet hall, the crowd had started to make their way inside. She stood and grabbed Garrus' hand.

"Come on, we don't want to be late." she said, pulling him up.

He stopped, grabbing her hand with his own, and quickly tied the ribbon around her wrist in the same manner it had been tied on the box.

"You look nice." he said.

Lina blushed and looked back up at him. "I'm more like a Renoir now."

He gave her another confused look and she shook her head again. She grasped his hand once again and together they walked into the hall.

/-/

Whatever uneasiness that Garrus had felt waiting outside was tripled once he and Lina sat down in the reception hall. The room was stuffed with round tables that seated the students, family, faculty and whatever "distinguished individuals" had been invited to watch a bunch of people they didn't know graduate from the program.

And every single one of them was human.

There was a bar (thankfully) at the far end of the room (not so thankfully) and a small stage set up with a podium and microphone with a spotlight shining on it. On the table in front of each seat was placed a copy of the program, naming each of the speakers. Garrus lazily perused the list, eyes scrolling over each human-sounding name.

"For a species trying to claw it's way to the top of Citadel society, they have no idea how xenophobic a guest list like this makes them look." he muttered to Lina.

"At least they're making you a special meal that won't kill you?" she shrugged, rubbing her head. She already needed another drink. "Besides, we're new to the universe and totally ignorant of our wrongdoings. Give us the benefit of the doubt."

He leaned back in his chair, "I'm just saying that it wouldn't hurt to invite some delegates of other species- it would be a good gesture," he fiddled with the napkin folded in front of him. "Like, look, here are the people you're supposed to get along with. Also: a free meal and an open bar."

"So the turians would drink too much and start sparring with the krogans, the humans would panic, the asari would freak out on everybody for not remaining calm, the salarians would sit in a corner bitching about everyone else and the volus would be outside, complaining that they should be in there if the turians are, too," Lina cocked an eyebrow. "It would be a disaster."

"An _entertaining_ disaster!" Garrus corrected with a grin.

"Not everyone shares your idea of fun-"

"You do!"

Lina rolled her eyes, "But I can see why you're uncomfortable. There are a lot of people staring at us."

"I keep telling myself it's because I'm too handsome."

Lina chuckled and shook her head at him, pausing briefly when she saw the serious look on his face.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked.

She stayed silent a moment before letting out a long snort and bursting into laughter again. He broke into a smile and squeezed her shoulder, then perused the program again, spotting her name in the list.

"So a speech, huh?" he folded the paper and put it back on the table. "You feeling nervous?"

Lina only pulled her flask out of her purse in response.

Garrus chuckled, "Well you should know how to talk to crowds, you may need it in the future."

"Are you always right?" she sighed.

He responded with a curt "yes", sending her into a fit of giggles again as the lights dimmed. One of the other guests seated at their table shushed Lina, his fingers pressed to his lips, which Garrus emulated on her other side, making her giggle more.

She managed to quiet down as Commander Anderson took the podium, squinting a bit into the light. He made a short speech about strength and honour and blah blah blah, congratulated the graduates and mentioned what a great success the second N7 campus had been in its short time on the Citadel. Lina was busy watching the waiter arrive with her second wine when she heard her name, and saw Anderson motioning towards her.

"Oh fuck." she whispered. The glass was placed on the table next to her with a clunk that seemed to echo throughout the room.

"Time to shine." Garrus mumbled to her, which only made her groan in discomfort.

She stood, bringing the full glass of wine with her, and walked up to the podium. She shook Anderson's hand with her free one and placed the glass on the podium. The light was hot and everyone in the room was staring at her as she uncomfortably patted at her hips, trying to find her notes. She tried not to wince as she realized where it was, and very slowly and with great embarrassment, reached two fingers into her bra to pull out the folded sheets. She heard chuckles from the crowd and couldn't help but chuckle herself at how absurd she felt.

"Let's not say I didn't come prepared," she said into the mic, motioning towards the glass with her free hand as she attempted to smooth the papers out. "But seriously..."

She cleared her throat.

"So, um, I'm a soldier, not a public speaker, so I'll try to keep this short," she started.

"When we first came to the Citadel, to our N7 campus here, everyone was bright eyed and red cheeked and eager to learn and make friends, except for me. I am entirely too hard on everyone here. Due in great part to my past, I've always been distrusting and have disliked the general population, and I've always treated them unfairly.

"And then I got here, and I was thrown into this group of people and it took me too long to realize that all of them, all of you are amazing, hard-working, talented and intelligent people. It took too long to see that this group is not of the general population.

"'Judgement prevents us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.'

"The most important thing I learned this year, beyond weapons training and tactics and how to kill someone with my thumbs is that everyone, whether they're human or turian, asari, salarian, hell, even vorcha, deserves to be fought for. And it's our job as new citizens in this galactic community to see past our own judgements and do just that. We need to open up, learn to get along, and fight beside our allies.

"I for one am looking forward to this new part of my life. I want to watch black give way to blue, to see the sunrise and new days in new places with new people. To work with all of you in achieving this.

"So, a toast, to us, to all of our hard work. To our parents for producing such fine offspring. To friends. To what life has given us so far, and to that great big ocean out there- and the adventures it holds for us.

"Congratulations."

She lifted her glass, took a drink, and carried it down from the podium. She set it back on the table as she passed, stopping briefly to mumble to Garrus something about needing air, and declined his offer to keep her company.

She stepped outside quickly and took a deep lungful of the cool evening air. She sat on the low wall opposite the banquet hall, where the two of them had been seated before, and removed her heels, rubbing her feet lightly as she did so.

Now that the horror was over with, she let herself panic a bit. No doubt people would ask her about it when they all went out afterwards, and she was not prepared to answer questions about her past _or_ her feelings, especially when they were asked by people she hardly knew. She may want to be nicer, but that didn't mean revealing everything about herself to complete strangers.

She made a small disgusted sound.

"I can't believe I toasted my parents." she said to no one in particular.

She lined up her shoes and set them down on the wall next to her. They belonged to Andrea, really, she had borrowed them for the evening and they pinched her toes. The brunette had plucked them out of her closet and handed them to Lina last minute when she realized that they had never picked up a pair to compliment the outfit (Andrea's words, not hers), and Lina remained amazed at the number of inappropriate shoes that her room mate had managed to bring with her.

Lina thought of the brunette that she slept not five feet away from most nights. She had been such a bitch to the poor girl at first, for no reason other than to keep up an appearance, really. Despite that, Andrea had persisted, occasionally inviting her out even when they both knew she would decline. And the two had really become closer over the past few months.

She was still a slut, kind of. But she explained that she didn't believe in loving someone else, only loving yourself, and doing what you enjoy. And Lina could respect that.

She sighed and wiped her nose quickly as the hall door opened again. She saw the turian slip out and stalk over to her slowly, stopping a short distance away.

"Hey." he said.

"Hey back," she replied. "What are you doing all the way over there?"

He shifted on his feet a bit, a small nervous habit. He gave a small shrug and responded with "Seeing if you still wanted to be alone."

Lina smiled and shook her head, waving him over.

"Nah," she confessed, patting the wall next to her. "I could use some company."

He smiled, taking the offered seat and quickly sneaking an arm around her waist.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just-" she started, then stopped. She let out a bated breath. "It's stupid."

He chuckled and shook his head, "Shepard, I work at C-Sec. I've heard every stupid reason that there is, from civilians and superiors alike." He leaned closer, nudging the side of her head with his nose. "Lay it on me."

She sighed, taking a minute to collect her thoughts before speaking.

"I toasted their parents, my parents, in there. I thought it would be a nice gesture, but seeing all of those people in there with their families, it just makes me think about what I'm missing out on. You know? How would my life be different if I had stuck it out- maybe things would have gotten better."

"Well," Garrus scoffed jokingly. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

Lina laughed and pushed him away playfully.

"Cock," she teased. "But seriously, it is. It's stupid how jealous I am to see all of those people in there- I've come this far without the support of my shitty family, why do I feel like I need them now?"

"Because you're getting soft," he smirked. "You need to drink some hooch, get some more hair on your chest! Like me!"

"Excuse me," Lina interrupted, holding up a hand to silence him. "But I have absolutely no hair on my chest, and neither do you, I might add."

Garrus pulled out the collar of his shirt and looked down, "Hey, you're right! Those lying bastards!"

Lina pressed her face into her hands and leaned over while she laughed. Her breathing evened as she felt his talons running up and down her back, scratching her lightly. She took in a deep breath.

"But you have to think, if things with your parents had been different, would you have joined the military? Would you be here today?"

"Probably not." she admitted.

"And you wouldn't have come to the Citadel..."

"You're right-"

"And you'd never have met Garrus!"

"I get the point!" she protested.

He smiled, and continued to rub her back slightly, "And you'll always have Garrus."

She sat back up and looked him in the eye.

"I hope I do."

"So!" he stood with enthusiasm and held out a hand to help her up. "Who needs their stinkin' parents now?"

Lina smiled and quickly slipped her shoes back on before taking his hand, allowing him to pull her up this time. She caught a glimpse of the circular burns on her forearm, and sitting inches away, the red ribbon tied around her wrist.

"Not me."

\-\

The rest of the reception was uneventful. The food was fancy and the drinks were free (and a chit slipped to one of the waiters assured that they kept coming quickly), but the rest of their table was stuck up, glaring at Garrus and Lina as they whispered and giggled.

By the end of dinner, Lina was tipsy and eager to get out of the shirt and heels and back into tattered jeans and dive bars around Garrus' apartment.

Our apartment, Lina corrected herself. It's my home, too.

As the guests started to leave, she sought out Andrea, who has been seated with her family at the opposite end of the hall. Lina, feeling drunk enough to act intrusive, stumbled over and threw her arms around Andrea's shoulders in an awkward hug from behind.

"How's it going over here?" she asked, only partially falling into the brunette. A mix of free drinks and high heels threw her off balance. She waved awkwardly at the family that she had met briefly earlier. They gawked in response.

"My back is killing me," Andrea replied, standing to help steady the redhead, leading her away from the table and towards the bar where Garrus was ordering them more drinks. "Sitting perfectly straight for three hours is not my thing."

Lina was about to make a quip about how bending over must be easier for her when Garrus quickly interrupted, handing her another drink to shut her up. He passed one to Andrea as well.

"What did you think of her speech?" he asked, attempting to stop Lina from saying anything horrible and awkward so close to Andrea's family.

"Oh my god, touching!" the brunette squealed. "And short! But so good."

She turned to him, "And look at you all dressed up, how handsome are you!"

"I clean up nice," he replied with a smirk.

"Let me just say bye to my family and then we can go." Andrew downed the rest of her wine and turned back to the table. At the tables surrounding them, other soldiers were starting to do the same.

Though the program was new, a tradition had already started to emerge among the graduates- to spend dinner with their families, then go out and drink themselves blind with their comrades. A greasy breakfast the next morning along with a swapping of "I can't believe you..." and "did you see when..." definitely helped with the hangover. Lina was looking forward more to getting out of the stench of pretension that seemed to rise off of these people. She overheard Andrea make plans to meet with her family the next day- something about visiting museums while on the Citadel. The brunette turned back and walked with the other two, shoes clacking on the granite as they left the main hall.

They wandered into the foyer of the building, and Andrea snorted. "I figure museums will be quiet enough to not add to my hangover. I am going to get destroyed tonight."

Lina grinned, "Drea, I am starting to like you more and more."

"I should be on my way, then." Garrus put an arm around Lina's shoulders.

"You're not coming with me?" she asked, confused.

"Nah, this is your night, enjoy it."

"But-" Lina leaned in to say quietly. "I won't talk to any of these people..."

"You might not," he mused. "But you _definitely_ won't if I'm around, and I won't be your excuse to sit in the corner and complain."

She opened her mouth to protest but he put a finger over it to silence her.

"If it's awful, call me, and I'll come rescue you," he compromised. "But give them a chance."

Lina made a sour face.

"Do I have to?" she asked.

"Yes, because it's exactly what your speech was about." he replied.

She swore under her breath- he had her there.

"Ready?" Andrea asked, linking her arm with Lina's. She turned to Garrus, "Walk us to the rapid transit station?"

He nodded and the three walked out into the wards, the brisk night air helped Lina sober up a tiny bit. She leaned on Andrea for support as they headed towards the RT Terminal.

"My god, did I hear about it back there," the brunette muttered as they walked. "My dad _hates_ turians, so when he saw Garrus here all he did was bitch, and when he saw me _talking_ to you, he was so pissed."

"Whaaat?" Lina cocked her head. "Why?"

"My grandfather died at Shanxi-"

"Up top!" Garrus interrupted, lifting his hand for a high-five. "So did mine!"

Andrea chuckled, slapped his hand, and continued.

"So, anyway, he's always been on the xenophobic side, and I'm sad to say that it rubbed off on me at first..."

"That's why you didn't like me hanging out with him at first..." Lina poked her in the shoulder and nodded her head towards the turian on her other side. Garrus had a mock hurt expression on his face.

"Yeah," Andrea admitted, regret in her voice, and with a small shrug added, "But then he kind of rubbed off on me, too, so..."

"Oh, you weren't supposed to be awake for that." Garrus deadpanned, managing to pull a perfectly straight face.

Lina clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggling. Andrea looked confused for a moment, then furrowed her eyebrows in anger.

"And with that, I take my leave of you!" Garrus grinned and called up a shuttle for the girls.

"You're leaving me alone with her after that!" Lina protested.

"Gotta leave on a high note, Shepard!" he winked, then quickly leaned down and nipped her temple. "Congratulations, Lina, I'll see you tomorrow."

He stood straight and squeezed Andrea's shoulder, congratulating her as well before quickly walking in the direction of the Zakera wards.

Lina slapped her roommate on the shoulder, "Come on, Slowpoke!"

Andrea snapped out of her trance and pointed at the retreating turian's back.

"Was that a masturbation joke?" she asked angrily.

"Yes," Lina replied with a grin. "And you really set yourself up for it."

The redhead turned on the balls of her feet and climbed into the shuttle, shoes clacking as they hit the concrete.

"Well come on!" she called back to the brunette. "There's one more thing I need you to do for me before you get too plastered."

/-/

Lina did have fun, and at the barracks with some help from Andrea and a lot of hairspray, she had a righteous mohawk as well. The bar was mostly her N7 comrades at first, but as the night went on, the crowd grew.

Few people tried to hit on her, luckily. She thanked the mohawk for that. The ones that did backed off when she started explaining in detail what happens when you shoot someone at point-blank range with a shotgun, and they seemed more perturbed than anything when she casually mentioned that her accreditation would allow her to easily track down anybody with just a name. By the time she got to the fact that she was trained in hacking locks and waiting in the dark for long periods of time for her victims to come home, the would-be suitors buggered right off and left her to spend time with her comrades.

She got a few funny looks after that one.

Apo, of course, was on the verge of being dangerously perverse with her, but all she had to do was remind him of their prior agreement and he shut his trap.

She bought a round of tequila shots, played some snooker, and got to know her classmates a bit better over the course of the evening. She declined an offer to dance from a random human man, pushing Andrea in his direction instead, which the brunette happily obliged.

Lina did manage to have fun, but never managed to push the question out of her mind- what was Garrus up to?

\-\

Garrus was sweating. The climate control decided "mid-summer noon-time tropical forest humidity" was on the menu for tonight's temperature setting, and no amount of fans or open windows or covering of the heating ducts was helping. He sat in his undershorts at the desk, grumbling at his dismantled sniper rifle, the metal pieces refusing to fit back together. The only light came from his desk lamp and the soft glow of the clock on the vid screen, which read 0420hrs.

He was too hot to sleep. He considered taking a pillow into the stairwell but being found half-naked in the stairwell by his neighbours _once _was humiliating enough (although he had scotch to blame for that time). His mind was also preoccupied, wondering what his redheaded companion was up to. He assumed she was having fun, as she hadn't sent him a single message, and he was happy she was finally opening up to others, but, still...

He looked around the darkened living room. It seemed empty without her.

He shook his head and turned his thoughts back to his sniper rifle. He'd have to get used to the place without her if she was going to be out on the ship for weeks at a time. He turned the parts of the rifle over in his hands- it was clean enough to eat off of, but he opted to put it back together instead. He rubbed some oil on for lubrication and slid the pieces back into place. The metal pieces had expanded a bit in the heat, and gave great resistance when he tried to piece them back together. He frowned, then stuck them in the fridge to cool down, opting to work on the electronics while they did so.

He reached for the scope to fiddle with it when he heard thumping outside his apartment door. He turned to look, saw the handle jiggling, and was about to get up to look through the security cam when he heard an indecipherable yell, and the door came flying open.

/-/

It was almost 0330hrs when the bar finally managed to kick the last of them out. Andrea headed back in the direction of the dorms with the boy she had been dancing with, stopping only to offer Lina company as she went back to Garrus' for the night. Lina declined. The other N7 graduates were either already gone or hoping to find some food before heading to bed, and Lina sat on a bench outside the bar to weigh her options. She wasn't hungry. She didn't want to drink more. Now that she had no more obligation to be around her class, she wanted to go find Garrus. She checked the time, nodding to herself that he'd probably be awake still (switching over to night shifts always messed with his sleep schedule) and stood to find her bearings.

Next thing she knew, she was face down on concrete, crawling slowly up a familiar staircase. She clumsily patted herself down, locating her comm, and pulled it out of her pocket, grateful that she managed not to lose it during her blackout.

0415hrs.

"Awww, faaaaaaaack!" she yelled, voice partially muffled by the ground that half of her mouth was pressed against.

She stuffed the comm down the back of her pants and slowly pulled herself up, using the railing to steady herself. Hand over hand, she stumbled up the stairwell.

A few more drinks and she was useless walking, even in sneakers.

At the landing, she pressed herself against the wall and willed the world to be stop spinning for a moment. She checked the floor number, found herself on the right one, and pulled open the door, stumbling into the hallway.

Finding the right apartment proved to be difficult- she couldn't for the life of her recall the number.

Okay, tard, the still-functioning part of her brain told her, you kick in his door all of the time, just find the door with the shoe marks and you're golden.

"Good idea brain," she said aloud, her words badly slurred. "I promise not to kill you with alcohol anymore."

Fat chance of that happening, her brain responded.

Lina, ignoring her own sarcastic comments to herself, went in search of the door with the scuff marks from her shoes. The dimmed light in the hallway made it difficult, but after much stumbling about, she was sure she had found it.

And if it isn't, they can drag you to the drunk tank and you can sleep it off on a nice hard cot, she told herself.

Lina positioned herself direction in front of the door and turned the handle, leaning her weight on it, and picked up her right foot to kick the thing open.

"FALCON KICK!" she screamed out as her foot made contact with the door.

The door opened, and Lina was relieved to see the familiar furniture and a bewildered-looking Garrus sitting shirtless at his desk.

The movement of the door opening inward, however, proved to be too complex for her currently compromised equilibrium, and thanks to the fact that she was still holding the doorknob, she found herself being dragged face-first to the floor. Her nose hit the laminate with a crunch, both arms, now relieved of the duty of working, fell to the ground above her, which allowed the door (set up to shut automatically) to come flying back and smack her side, propping itself just below the armpit and above her highest rib. She lay there, motionless for a moment before raising her arms, hands forming the devil horns, and uttering a feeble "Rock n' roll, motherfucker!"

There was silence for a moment before Garrus burst out in laughter from the far end of the room. He must have hit the controls from his desk because the overhead lights came on, and seconds later Lina was being dragged to the couch.

Garrus pushed her limp head back to get a look at her nose, which was pouring a steady flow of blood. He was still giggling as he went to the kitchen for ice.

"Cock!" she called after him.

"I am sorry for laughing," he said, returning with a cloth full of ice and pressed it gently to her nose. "But that was a rather spectacular entrance."

"Is it broken?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't think so," he replied, applying pressure with his thumbs. He gave her the ice to hold while he went to the bathroom for a medi-kit. "But you've got some blood on your shirt here," he came back and pressed her side where the door had slammed into her. She winced at his touch.

He started to pull up the side of her shirt to get a better look when she stopped him, ripping off the shirt altogether, and shoved up the side of her bra so it wasn't rubbing against the would.

"Um-" he started, giving her a concerned look. "You sure?"

"Whatever," she mumbled, returning the ice to her face. "It's hot as fuck in here!"

"I know." he replied sympathetically, checking her side. There was a shallow gash where the edge of the heavy door had hit and a bruise was already starting to form around it. He wiped it down with an antiseptic wipe before applying the medigel.

"You hit your head?" he asked, surprised at the serious tone of his own voice. It brought to mind his first few years in C-Sec, doing rounds on weekends, checking idiot humans who got too drunk and fought one another, making sure they didn't injure themselves too badly before throwing them into the drunk tank.

She shook her head in response.

He continued to check for signs of a concussion, asking her questions that were met only with a sardonic look. He pushed a few stray hairs out of her face.

"Well you reek of booze and you look really tired, but otherwise it looks like you didn't do too much damage to yourself." he used his thumb to wipe the blood from around her mouth, checking that no more came out of her nose.

"Am I free to go, _doctor_?" she asked sarcastically, pulling her hands away to motion air quotes, dropping the ice in the process.

"You're going to bed if you're going anywhere." he said, putting her arms around his neck and lifting her up by her thighs.

Lina rested her head on his shoulder, breathing slowly, smelling his rainfall scent mixed with the copper scent of her own blood. She nuzzled her nose into the soft, suede-like skin of his neck, her arms locked around his collar, and mumbled, "You're good to me."

She felt his mandible flare out- he must have been smiling, and felt a rumble as he purred in response.

He set her down on the bed on her side, and she immediately closed her eyes. She heard some shuffling about before his weight pushed down the end of the mattress, and she felt him untying her shoes, pulling them off of her feet. He stood and walked around to the head of the bed, using a talon to trace the hairline of her mohawk.

"I quite like the hair, Shepard," he muttered softly, nipping her temple before standing. "Sleep well."

Garrus walked back out to his desk, switched off the overhead lights to sit in the dim light of his lamp once again. The climate control clicked off- satisfied that it had grossly overheated the apartment again, and silence descended over the apartment, broken only by the metallic clink of Garrus pulling his metal parts out of the refrigerator.

He sat back down at his desk, enjoying the silence. With the soft sound of her breathing in the other room, and suddenly the place didn't feel quite so empty.

He smiled and continue to reassemble his weapon.

\-\

Lina woke up earlier that morning to the hiss of the coffee maker automatically brewing a pot of delicious caffeinated lifeblood. She breathed in deeply, trying to get a whiff of the wonderful brew, and instantly regretted the action. Her head felt like she had repeatedly bashed it into a brick wall for fun. Her body didn't feel much better- her side ached, her rib felt bruised, and once she managed to pry one eye open, she confirmed her suspicions that there was a mark there. Her hair, now mangled from being pressed into a pillow as well as her adventures the night before, was falling all over the place, her scalp tender at the roots.

The apartment was chillier now that the heat was off, and she used a hand to grope around the bed for blanket, but instead found the sleeping turian next to her. She pulled at his arm, willing him closer, He obliged, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing his chest to her bare back.

"Good morning, _Magdalena_," he said quietly, putting exaggerated emphasis on the name,

Despite all of the protests her body gave her, Lina tensed up. Her eyes flew open and she turned, staring down the turian, who had a very smug look on his face.

She could only stammer out one word in her shocked state- "How?"

"Someone found your wallet and turned it into C-Sec. My buddy Chellick is holding it there for you, he called to let me know."

Lina gave him a look that said 'I'll strangle you with your own spine if you tell anyone'.

Her hangover prevented her from making such complex thoughts, and instead she simply said, "I hate my name."

"I won't tell anyone." he promised, pulling her closer. She relaxed against him again.

They were silent for a moment before she spoke one last time.

"My hair hurts- I'm never drinking again."

He smirked, rubbing her arm, and leaned over to give her a consolatory lick on the cheek before snuggling back in, arm back around her waist. She knew that he would make good on his word- the bandages on her side and glass of water on the night stand told her so. The small things, a greater gesture than any physical gift. The sunlight filtered in through the windows, glinting off of her earring.

She would always have Garrus.

\-\

If you're wondering, Johann Vermeer's _Girl with the Pearl Earring_ and Renoir's _Girl with the Red Hair Ribbon_ are what I'm referencing. Both wonderful pieces.

Also, I always find one of the most loving things that the Dude does for me is to take off my shoes when I get all wine drunk and pass out in my clothes. He is awesome.


	6. I Just Wanna Lose Control

So, holidays are a bit of a bitch. I love them, because of the snow and all the food and the drinking, but at the same time, I won't have a free weekend until after New Years. My life is so hard, I know.

So this chapter is actually in five parts. Here's part one to sate you for a bit. Parts 2&3 will be the next chapter, and 4&5 will be afterwards. Hopefully all of this damn Christmas business ends soon so I can get this shit out. Finally.

As always, thanks to the lovely Tara for editing. To the Dude for all the love, to Rudiger for being an awesome room mate, and to my family for supplying me with endless amounts of alcohol.

If you want to learn about the inanities of my daily life, please follow me on twitter; username: randomanalysis.

**Chapter 6, pt 1: Just Wanna Lose Control**

/-/

Garrus hated day shift. It started somewhere around 0500hrs and he didn't get off until at least 1400hrs. It was the longest shift not just in length, but because during those hours the criminals were hardly awake. There was almost nothing to do until about 0700hrs or so, when people started waking up and saw that their house had been vandalized/car had been stolen/garden had been passed out in, and that's when the mundane officer duties started. It was generally information taking and patrols until about noon, when the fun work (and the real crime) began. Things were starting to getinteresting usually around 1300hrs or so, and that's when the afternoon shift starting coming in and snatching up the calls.

But he pushed through it, for those two precious hours in the morning when he could get some real work done. The few small investigations he'd picked up were easier to do in bright light with his workstation and access to C-Sec files than in the dim confines and tempting distractions of his apartment. Nothing serious- some cases of small-time fraud, tax evasion, extortion, and the like. Cases thrown to the officers looking for a promotion out of brass and into full-time Investigating. And that's just what Garrus was looking for.

Investigating. With a capitol 'I'. Investigator Vakarian. He loved the sound of it.

Normally, he would stay later, get some more work done. His performance review was coming up shortly and he was planning on bringing up the 'P' word to his superior officers at the time. His files were almost complete. He just needed a little more evidence to back him up, and then...

Investigator Vakarian.

It still sounded excellent.

He checked the clock. 1407Hrs. He saved his datapad and shoved it, along with his paperwork, into his leather satchel and clasped it shut. Part of him wanted to stay later, to finish the reports _tonight_ and hand them in first thing in the morning.

But Lina was back at the apartment, and tonight was her last night on the Citadel before another run on the _SSV Irving._

He walked briskly through the wards, nodding at his fellow officers as he passed by. From across the walkway, he could smell a Palaven stir-fry at the diner just outside of C-Sec Academy. His stomach rumbled- he didn't have much of a lunch, and they made the stir-fry with some spices he couldn't quite put his finger on, but it was irresistible. Plus they made a dish that Lina loved as well, something called macaroni and cheese that looked horrible to him, all orange and mushy, but she went crazy for it.

He hesitated, wondering if he should or not. Maybe she had plans for dinner. He was just about to walk away when a fresh batch of stir-fry came out of the kitchen, ready for take-out. He couldn't resist.

Besides, the asari was working the counter, and a little harmless flirting assured that she packed his containers extra full.

Back at the apartment, he kicked open the door, yelling "HA HA! SURPRISE!" and threw his satchel at Lina who was relaxing on the couch with a book. She jumped in shock and caught the bag before it hit her.

"Asshole!" she yelled.

"Asshole that brought you food." he corrected, handing her the bag containing their take out.

"How was work?" she asked, opening the bag and pulling out the two opaque containers.

"Long, slow, boring," he replied as he pulled off his armour, letting it fall piece by piece to the ground with a thunk until he stood in only his shorts. "Some guy this morning wanted me to find out who puked in his petunias. Like I'm going to scan that shit for prints."

She laughed and passed him one of the containers after he sat himself down on the couch. They both made similar wretching sounds as they opened the lids to reveal the other's food.

"Your insult to decent cuisine is in this container." she said, passing it to him.

"Which would make this your nearly sentient neon mush." he parried, passing the second container to her.

They touched their plastic utensils together in a toast and began to eat.

It had been just over two years since Lina had settled down in their tiny apartment. She was out for four to six weeks at a time and came back to the Citadel for a few days here and there while the _Irving_ restocked or received repairs. She never came back empty handed, sometimes with things (his leather satchel being one, which turned out extremely handy) but usually with stories about the outer rims of Citadel space and the people she met during their missions.

It made Garrus a little jealous, and part of him yearned to wander with her.

The apartment, once sparsely furnished, now housed all of his belongings, which wasn't much, and all of her belongings, which had grown considerably over the years. It was also home to a space hamster, Wally, who resided on the unused kitchen table. Posters, hastily taped up, covered holes in the walls attained through play fighting or regular bad decisions made while drunk. There was a poorly patched crack in the ceiling where Garrus had smacked his fringe jumping off the couch, hoping to catch Lina off guard (it ended poorly, with Garrus receiving injuries through both his damaged fringe and a punch to the face). The climate control was still broken, fluctuating between "dry desert heat", "humid rainforest" and "witch's tit", and the door was even easier to wedge open without a key.

Despite its bad qualities, it was home.

It was the first real home Lina ever had, and she loved it, and was glad to share it with him.

The two sat on opposite ends of the couch, facing one another, immersed in stimulating conversation as they ate.

"So, you're telling me, not only do you drink the reject juices from animals, but you also let it rot in superheated vats until it curdles into a brick, which you then eat?" Garrus asked, a disgusted look on his face.

"Yes." Lina confirmed with a nod, then forked some more noodles into her mouth.

"May I ask why?"

"Because it's delicious!"

"It's horrifying is what it is." he walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Wait until you hear about eggs," she called after him. "And haggis!"

He shook his head. Every day, it seemed, he learned something new and repulsive about her species.

"Do you want to go to Orions tonight?" she asked.

"I have to be up at four, remember." he replied. He closed the fridge and brought two beers out of the kitchen with him.

"Just one drink?" she pleaded, fluttering her eyelashes.

Garrus rolled his eyes as he passed her the bottle. How lame was it that that crap worked on him?

"Alright, but I'm taking a power nap first," he said setting himself down next to her on the couch. He shifted himself so his head rested on her stomach and stretched his legs down the length of the couch. He passed her his unopened bottle, which she placed on the end table, and opened her own.

Lina flicked the vid screen on with her omni-tool, a trick he had taught her, and switched the channel to cartoons. She ran her fingers through his fringe, lightly scratching the suede-like skin beneath, and he fell asleep like that, purring softly.

\-\

The two of them stumbled onto the transit car, arm in arm. One drink turned into several after some good music had started up. Then a band started playing and they were pretty good too. Next thing they knew Lina had kicked some kid in the head in the mosh pit and Garrus had lost his shirt and gained a cracked plate, which had started seeping blood, and it was well after midnight before they managed to tear themselves away.

They looked each other up and down and smirked. It had turned into an enjoyable evening.

"Serves him right," Lina said, referring to the kid she kicked. "I'm pretty sure he's the one who elbowed me in the face moments before. I think my tooth is loose. Pointy-limbed bastard."

They sat on the car, her legs across his lap, his arm around her shoulders, and chatted, laughing, ignoring the disapproving stares from the other travellers in the car.

Lina made faces at a salarian giving them the stink eye. She was used to the stares by now.

A few of the places, diners, bars, stores, they regularly showed up at knew them by name, and found it odd to see one without the other. But everywhere else, there were still whispers, passersby, not bothering to avoid their gaze as they spoke their judgements. Humans and turians weren't _supposed_ to fraternize- how could they ignore that social convention?

"Fuck 'em." was Garrus' response when she brought this up. So she stopped caring, too.

She learned pretty quickly that one direct "what the fuck are you looking at, _xenophobe?_" at whoever was closest would make the rest of them feel nervous. And if someone got angry, well...

She rubbed her sore cheek.

She could hold her own in a fight.

Garrus leaned back on the bench, mumbling something about having to work in four hours.

Lina rubbed his fringe.

"Make some coffee, take a nap, put your head down and power through. You can go one day with little sleep."

"I suppose," he rubbed at his cracked plate. "I'll have to stop this bleeding. How's your face?"

"Bruised," she replied, not amused. "I'll have to get the med bay on the ship to take a look at my tooth. I don't know how I'll explain it if it's loose."

"Say something along the lines of 'You should see the other guy'?" he joked.

"They should, I kicked him pretty hard," she replied. "At least I'm pretty sure I did."

He smirked and pulled her feet closer to him, checking the soles of her red hi-tops.

"You've got blood on your shoes."

"What colour?"

"Red."

"Well I got someone," she snorted, rubbing her face.

The automated voice announced their stop and the two of them stood, grabbing the handles of the door to push it open once the car stopped.

Lina threw one last look at the offending salarian before Garrus pulled her out of the car.

She passed out once she got inside, setting the alarm on her omni-tool for 0600hrs. Garrus took his time, got a quick shower, set the coffee maker, patched his plate up, before collapsing into bed beside her. The apartment was cold again and the small human happily snuggled up next to him.

It seemed like such a short time later that his omni-tool was beeping, urging him to wake up. He shut it off, rubbed his eyes, and downed about four cups of coffee before putting his armour on.

He sat on the edge of the bed and checked the time again. He still had twenty minutes until he had to leave. He didn't factor in that he had taken a shower before bed.

A hand grabbed his waist, Lina's. He looked down and she was looking up at him, everything from the nose down hidden by the blankets.

"It's cold in here." she said, waiting for his usual response.

"I'm in my armour," he replied instead. "I'm probably not very warm."

She shrugged, grabbing his arm to pull him down anyway. He sighed, piled up some pillows and awkwardly and uncomfortably lay next to her, his armour making it difficult to lay flat. Despite this, she snuggled up next to him.

His talons played with the small curls along her hairline. Like he could ever refuse her.

Laying there, talons in her curls, nose pressed against her forehead, he started to get an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. A mixture of worry and dread. Something he got when things were going _too well_ and he was due for something bad to happen. He made a small sound in the back of his throat and his mandibles started clicking.

"Everything okay?" Lina asked, fluttering her eyes open.

"Just a funny feeling," he replied. "What do you call it? Some kind of flying insect in your stomach?"

"Butterflies." she smirked.

"Gross." he said, twirling a curl around his talon.

"Probably a mixture of booze, coffee and not enough sleep." she suggested.

He nodded, that was probably right. He quickly checked his clock- ten minutes until he had to leave. He pressed his forehead to hers, gently cupped her cheek, careful to avoid the forming bruise, and whispered that he was going to go to work.

What she did next took him totally by surprise. She placed a hand on his mandible, fingers softly touching the delicate skin beneath, and rubbed it. He gently brushed her hand off, nervous. In the past he'd tried to explain that that action was a very intimate, personal thing that you only did when...

Aww, hell, it turned him on.

She put her hand right back up, and before he could retaliate, her other hand snaked up around his neck to gently caress the thick suede beneath his fringe. This hand he couldn't pull away without inadvertently hitting her in the face while he did it. What was she doing?

Suddenly, her face was mashed against his, and she was doing that thing where she pursed her lips and pressed them against him. Only instead of his cheek or his forehead, which she usually chose the rare time she executed this human sign of affection, her mouth was pressed directly against his.

Well, he thought, this is a little awkward.

Tentatively, he gently nipped the lower lip in response, figuring this was the closest thing he could do that was similar. He could feel her smile, satisfied, and was about to pull away when her tongue darted out, flicking across his mouth.

Hell, I can do that, too! He thought as he flicked his tongue back. She made a small sound, satisfied, and the next thing he knew his talons were in her hair and his other hand was on her waist and he was nipping her and her tongue was running along his and her hands were on his neck and behind his mandibles and OH SPIRITS GARRUS YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR WORK_._

He pulled away, quickly, catching his breath, and pressed his forehead to hers again.

"I have to go," he said quietly, his voice raspy. "Take care of yourself, call me when you get home."

He gathered his affects as quickly as possible, leaving the apartment in a hurry, partly because he was now late, partly because he was confused.

In bed, Lina sat up. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. The apartment was dark, silent except for the squeaking wheel of the hamster cage. Lina pulled her legs up, hugging her knees, letting her head fall forward.

"Fuck."

/-/


	7. Could Have Heard You

**Pt. 2 – Might Have Heard You**

(Three Weeks Later)

Sub-Lieutenant Lina Shepard checked the power cells on her environment suit- they had been getting dangerously low in the last few days. How long could she last without it before she froze to death? A day? A few hours more like it. If she tried to stay awake, hypothermia would set in, but if she let herself sleep...

She shook her head. Death was something she tried to push from her mind. She had some rations still, even though they were gross and undercooked. Her partially frozen canteen sat in the sad-looking embers from the small fire she'd managed to start. It was a pathetic excuse for a fire really. She frowned.

Why the fuck hadn't they taught her this shit in basic? She didn't have any fucking boy scouts training on Earth!

She picked up the canteen and shook it, listening for the telltale sloshing of unfrozen liquid.

Ahh, success, she thought as she unscrewed the top, lifting it in the direction of Midshipman Peary in a toast. It had been his idea to pack the canteens with snow and put them near the fire, his lighter they had used to finally get said fire going. Lina regarded him- propped against the wall of the research station they currently occupied, head slumped into his bent up knees.

"Thank you, Peary." she mumbled, taking a sip. She wanted to say it was the best water she ever tasted, but that would be a lie. It was metallic and the oxygen had escaped from it. She tried not to think of some animal peeing on the snow before they got there. It was actually pretty gross, but it was water.

She thanked Peary again, not that he would hear. He had died two days prior.

She looked away, upset by the reality that it would likely be her next.

Later, she hoped. Much, much later.

She knew that she should get up, stop wallowing on the floor, wishing for whiskey or macaroni and cheese or hell, that disgusting-smelling stir-fry that Garrus always got. She knew that she should do more to alert the _Irving_ of the fact that she was very much alive, other than fruitlessly sending out daily comm messages that wouldn't likely pass through the storm. She should go back to the truck, check for the emergency radios. She should buck up and walk out in the storm, and make some kind of attempt to save herself.

She looked over at Peary, slumped against the wall. She should have done it days ago.

The truth was that she was sick of being locked out in the cold. After she joined the military she told herself she would never have to spend another night in the snow again, and over time she had grown soft, spoiled, accustomed to the benefits of having a place of one's own. She hated the blowing wind and the awful memories it brought back. She could hardly handle it anymore, and wished for a bed with a nice thick comforter and a warm turian next to her.

Then she thought of the Citadel, of their apartment, of watching cartoons on the couch and accidentally kicking Garrus out of the bed in her sleep, and how he never cared. She thought about afternoons at the firing range, where they would test out the latest upgrades to their weaponry, and then go to the Presidium and spit watermelon seeds at the mass relay monument when no one was looking. She thought of her closest friend and hung her head, ashamed of herself. She owed it to him to explain her actions.

But explain... how? She really didn't know why she did it, herself.

She smacked her forehead a couple of times. Now was not the time for this. Now was the time to think about survival.

If she stayed here she would starve or freeze to death. If she walked out there she would probably freeze to death. What if she got to the truck and the radio didn't work? Would she make it back to the station? Not likely. Any option she could think of ended with a cruel, frozen shuffling off of the mortal coil. Part of her wanted to just point a gun to her temple and get it over with. She was going to die anyway, she might as well do it by her own hand.

She shook her head. Don't think about suicide, she thought. Life is too fucking fun to give up on so easily.

Absentmindedly, she checked the power cells again. She had already drained Peary's cells, charging up her own a bit more- not that it would make a difference. She had already turned down the temperature, keeping it at 18C- brisk, but warm enough to keep her alive.

T-shirt weather, she thought with a snort.

Her eyes wandered to the frozen pack to her left. The wind had shifted and was starting to blow the snow into the building, freezing most of her rations, killing the fire. It had long since covered the bodies of her comrades outside, miles away, as well as the bastard thresher maw that had gotten them into this predicament.

The thresher maw. The supposed rescue mission that her unit was sent on. A obvious trap, in hindsight. When they arrived there was nothing but snow and an abandoned armoured tank. Then the attack. Most of her crew dead. She pulled the M-100 Grenade Launcher off of Lieutenant-Commander Pessl's back, fired twice. The maw was damaged enough from their tank's weapons that it went down after that.

She checked the bodies on the ground- all of them were dead but Peary. The trucks didn't work, the engine was frozen on the one and the other was torn almost in half thanks to the maw. She dragged the poor Midshipman through the snow on foot until she found an abandoned research station- it was missing part of one wall and there was no electricity, but it blocked the wind and for the most part the snow, and protected them from further attack.

That's where they were now. Peary, frozen dead, propped against the far wall. Shepard, cold, still alive, and running out of time. She sent out periodic signals, knowing that they wouldn't likely get past the storm, and waited for rescue.

Lina leaned her head against the wall and decided to try sending one last signal.

Hesitantly, she switched power over to her radio. She could feel her skin cracking painfully in her suit. She licked her dry lips with an equally dry tongue and spoke clearly into the transmitter.

"Sub-Lieutenant Magdalena Shepard, weapons officer aboard the _SSV Irving_. Born April 11, 2154 in Montreal, Canada. My ship was called to investigate a disappearance of colony scientists on Akuze. My crew mates sent down to the planet are now all dead, including Midshipman Peary. I'm afraid I may join them soon. To whoever finds my body- please make sure I'm brought home in a dignified position..."

Her eyes moved back to Peary, curled up by the far wall.

"... None of this huddled over for warmth crap."

She switched the power back to her climate control and turned it down another half degree. She thought about that term she heard back on Earth- when hell freezes over. She shifted her gaze to the barren, frozen tundra and let out a sigh.

She closed her eyes and let herself imagine being back home, in the light-filled apartment, curled under the blankets, the warmth of the heater. She thought about Garrus, and what had happened before she left. And she decided that she needed to get back to the Citadel. Her eyes flew open and she stood suddenly and crossed the room to kneel next to her dead comrade.

"You may be enjoying the sweet embrace of death, Peary, but I'm not letting you tempt me into giving up." she said furiously as she dug through his belongings. She found some extra heat sinks, and saw the familiar warning printed on the side- _Caution! Extremely Flammable! Keep away from open flame!_ She dug deeper and found a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. She tore off her helmet, stuck one of the cigarettes in her mouth and lit it, then took the extra heat sinks back over to her weapons.

She was determined, and she had an idea.

\-\

Garrus took a moment to check the news stations again, as he had done every half hour since the news of the _SSV Irving_ had come to him. Search crews had found the bodies of nearly every crew member that was lost, but there was no news of his red-haired companion. Every time an update came through, his heart would leap to his throat, but her name remained on the list of missing crew, which was slowly shrinking with every body they found.

After a week, he started to lose hope. She was tough, he knew, she could survive a couple days out in the cold if she found shelter, but an entire week...

He tried to shake the image of her dead in a snowdrift somewhere from his mind. Last time he couldn't think of anything else he had his C-Sec partner, Decean Chellick, slap him across the face (which the older turian had obliged, a little too enthusiastically). This time Garrus was alone, so he turned on the cold water and dunked his head into the sink instead.

He had been sent home from work. He found it hard to get work done when his best friend might be dead. Chellick told him he was compromising the possibility of a promotion, not that Garrus cared at that moment. He then promised to call as soon as he heard anything, and proceeded to tell him without an ounce of tact that he looked like shit and maybe he should get a shower in.

Garrus glared at him. Chellick could be so bitchy sometimes.

He knew that he should eat, but every time he thought of food he realized that she might not ever be there to tell him how disgusting his food smelled or describe to him the horrifying processed food that humans gladly ate. It ruined his appetite.

So, instead of wallowing in pity and filth, he decided to clean.

He washed every dish in the house, including the ones that managed to get shoved under the couch (and were now growing some sort of bacterial colony in what was once mashed potatoes). He picked up all of the dirty laundry and shoved it in the washer. He made the bed, military pocket-corner style and scrubbed the shower. He re-organized his music collection, first by artist, then by date, then by colour, then decided that he liked it the way it was before (easier to find everything) and organized it by artist again. He cleaned Wally's cage. He even went so far as to de-gunk the tops of the condiments in the fridge and throw out all of the leftovers that hid in the back corners.

When that was done, he checked the news vids again. Still no update on Shepard.

The apartment was spotless. He looked around impatiently, looking for something else to distract him, and was thinking of waxing the floor when something shiny caught his eye. He bent down, picking up one of Lina's pearl earrings that managed to roll behind one of the end tables.

And that's when something snapped.

He sat down slowly on the couch, the stud clutched between two fingers, eyes transfixed on it as he pleaded.

"Alright," he said slowly. "This is weird, but, here we go. I'm not a great person- I drink, I smoke, I occasionally partake in other substances, I like loud music and big guns and I'm usually a giant asshole to people but I've never asked anything of you and neither has Lina, and we both need help now."

He rubbed his forehead, wondering how more religious people manage to not feel totally ridiculous while they prayed.

"Spirits," he started again. "Please bring her back to me. I can't promise to be better, but she has so much potential for greatness and she's had a shitty enough life as it is without it ending like this. She deserves so much better than what she's been given."

Silence was his response. He waited with anticipation, then let out a breath and said "Of course."

He turned on the vid screen again and collapsed onto the couch, eyes glued to the screen while he waited.

/-/

Lina's omni-tool beeped. She looked down at the screen and saw a cartoon image of a battery pack with 'x's for eyes. She was officially out of power. She didn't care anymore.

"Why do they have to make it so cute?" she asked no one. She spat the cigarette out of her mouth- it kept getting blown out by the wind and snow anyway. The storm was worse, visibility was 10 metres at best, and now her face was freezing and it was starting to hurt to breathe. She had long since football-kicked her helmet into a snowbank out of frustration.

She was sitting by the second armoured truck, the one that was intact. She had located the fuel reserve on the first one and drained it, dragging the container of mostly frozen goop over to the first vehicle. She also found that the driver's seat had remained undamaged, and unhooked it from the floor before dragging it a short distance away.

It didn't take long for her to load all of the extra heat sinks into the tank. She had a good haul, taken from Peary and the extra stock inside the tank. She also found a few on the ground, the occasional gleam of light alerting her to their presence. They were probably from the packs of her dead comrades. She tried not to think about that.

Once she finished loading anything and everything flammable that she could find into the tank, she walked back to where she had dragged the driver's seat, about fifty metres away, and took a seat, sticking the last cigarette in her mouth and lighting it before she pulled the grenade launcher from her back. Checking the clip, she saw there was one shot left.

She couldn't help but grin as she aimed at the dark truck-shaped object, partially hidden by the snow and pulled the trigger.

The grenade hit and the tank exploded beautifully into a mushroom of flame and gasses as the gasoline burned. The shock wave pushed Lina back into her chair, but she didn't look away as the flames grew higher. It was warm, finally, and as she reached into the rations pack, still strapped across her shoulder, the storm broke and for a few brief moments the clouds parted and Lina could see the beautiful blue sky that was hidden beneath.

She grinned. It felt good to destroy something.

From the pack she pulled one of the Alliance-issue radios, with which every tank was equipped for emergencies because it had a much stronger frequency than the omni-tool comms. She pulled the cigarette out of her mouth, saw that it had gone out again, and flicked it over her shoulder before pressing the call button on the radio.

"_SSV Irving_ this is Sub-Lieutenant Lina Shepard. If anyone up there can hear me, please respond."

She pulled the radio away and put the speaker to her ear. She sat there in the driver's seat pulled from the tank and waited for what felt like an eternity for a response. She let out a nervous laugh when the radio crackled and a voice she recognized as Ensign Blackwood spoke to her through the speaker.

"Shepard, glad to hear from you-" The Ensign's voice came through, a little crackled but clear enough. "- just picked up an explosion on the planet's surface about two hundred metres from the original drop zone. Can I venture a guess and say it was you?"

Lina could have cried... if she knew that her tears wouldn't freeze on her face. She gave a positive response and said something along the lines of "I'm fucking freezing down here!" and sat back in the chair, letting the wind blow her greasy hair back out of her face.

She didn't have a clock to see how long it took for the shuttle to arrive. She heard the engines over the blowing wind and heard some voices to her left. She remained in the chair, fighting fatigue as she saw the Alliance rescue workers run towards her. They pulled her across the snow (her legs refused to work any longer) and strapped her to a gurney in the shuttle before taking off. Medical officers got to work applying medi-gel to her frostbite as the shuttle reached atmosphere.

Lina let her hand drift towards the medical officer's shoulder and pulled at her sleeve to ask her something. The officer leaned down and put her ear close to Lina's mouth to listen. Lina licked her lips.

"Do you have any whiskey?" she asked. "I really need a fucking drink."

\-\

**Pt. 3 – If I Don't Make It Home**

Garrus pushed his way through the crowd of reporters at the entrance to the hospital. She'd just been brought in, not twenty minutes ago, and Chellick had woken him up to let him know.

"Jon Grissom Memorial Hospital, room 429," he said as Garrus answered his comm. "Alliance _just_ alerted us to the media shit storm that was likely going to be taking place outside."

Garrus jumped up from the couch, barely giving himself time to put on shoes before he ran down the stairwell towards the Alliance wards. He'd opted to run instead of wait for a rapid transit shuttle, and when he got to the hospital he could see why C-Sec needed to intervene- there were dozens of media personnel outside, all yelling questions at an Alliance official while Chellick stood next to him, looking vaguely annoyed at having to spend his day babysitting a bunch of asshole news reporters.

Garrus shoved a salarian out of the way to run up the steps, getting stopped briefly by some Alliance officers who appeared to be helping to keep the mob at bay. He flashed his C-Sec ID and met with Chellick at the top of the stairs.

"It's a fucking madhouse," the older turian muttered as he walked with Garrus to the hospital entrance. "These people are animals."

"She's inside?" Garrus asked.

"Room 429." Chellick repeated, nodding.

Garrus nodded, grabbing Chellick's shoulder. "Thank you." he said with all sincerity.

"Take care." Chellick responded and turned back to maintain the crowd.

Garrus wasn't sure if he meant of himself or of Lina.

/-/

Lina awoke in the hospital room, still exhausted. She didn't know where she was or how she had gotten there, she just knew that she was hungry.

She sat up as best she could, her worn out body still sore from days of clenched muscles and unstoppable shivering. She vaguely remembered being picked up by an Alliance cruiser and brought back to the ship, but after that her memory failed her. She looked about the room, the instruments and tubes connected to her told her she was in the hospital, as well as the crappy paper gown she was wearing. Another quick look told her that someone else had been there- the chair was pulled up right next to the bed. Laying on the floor just beyond it, she recognized her overnight bag and a brown leather satchel- the one she bought for Garrus on Ilium not too long before.

What is this the dark ages! She thought as she fruitlessly tried to pull the gown down to her knees. She felt at the back and was relieved to find she was at least wearing a long tank top underneath it, so her butt wouldn't be exposed if she were to stand.

She managed to shift herself closer to the window, her suspicions confirmed when she spotted the familiar Alliance wards outside. She let her legs dangle off the edge of the bed as she watched the traffic speed through the hospital grounds.

Behind her, the door opened. She didn't turn around, expecting a nurse or doctor to bustle in with a friendly "you're awake!" or some clever quip like she'd seen on medical dramas the few times she watched anything other than cartoons on the vids. Suddenly that warm, foggy smell of rainfall filtered into the room, and as she felt the mattress give way next to her, Lina knew just which charming asshole turian was taking up the space.

She turned and smiled at him, he was already looking at her.

"Garrus." said Lina.

"Lina." said Garrus.

And suddenly, everything seemed right again.

\-\

Lina ravenously devoured one half of an egg salad sandwich. She didn't even like egg salad, but she was hungry enough and late in the afternoon the hospital cafeteria didn't have much else. It wasn't even real egg salad, more a simulated egg-like protein substance that was drenched in mayonnaise. She scoffed- the Alliance could splurge on five hundred private hospital rooms and the best human doctors available, but they couldn't ship some damn eggs?

Garrus watched her as he drank a stale coffee, making a slight wretch as the particularly pungent odour drifted towards his sensitive nose. He sat a bit further back and made a disgusted face.

"That smells horrible," he commented. "More horrible than most of the food you eat."

Lina ignored him, determined to finish the sandwich before her stomach made other plans with it. She swallowed the last bite and washed it down with half a carton of milk.

"I would have gone to get you food." he said, pushing the empty sandwich container as far away from them as possible.

"It would've taken too long." she responded quickly between gulps of milk.

"About as long as it took me to track down a nurse to pull all of your _tubes _out." he said, shuddering slightly at the uncomfortable memory.

"Hey, I was passed out for four days, I had to pee somewhere," she crushed the milk carton and lobbed it into a nearby trash bin. It emitted a chirp and a cheerful "thank you!" as the carton dropped into it.

The two went silent as the cafeteria workers walked past them. They glared at Garrus with reproach as they passed, as he earlier had jokingly tried to order "Two braised livers, a stick of mutton and one of your young on a roll." before Lina pushed him out of the way. They hadn't been amused.

Lina sat back in her plastic chair, eyes sweeping over the now empty cafeteria. She was much more comfortable now, having changed into some pyjamas and a hooded sweater that covered her up much more modestly than the hospital gown did. Garrus leaned forward to rest his head on the table, stopped, picked up the empty sandwich container and tossed it into the garbage, and leaned forward again. The garbage bin happily chirped and thanked them a second time.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as she leaned further back, her chair tipping onto its hind legs.

"Better," she answered, balancing herself there. "Still tired."

"Do you want to go back upstairs?"

"Not yet."

With a thump her chair returned to four legs and Lina pushed herself closer to Garrus, turning so she could lean against him. He smirked, his head still planted firmly on the table.

"Garrus, why are you sitting like that?" she asked him.

"Haven't slept well," he responded. "Hard to sleep in a hospital chair."

"Why are you sleeping in the chair?" she asked. "Go home! I can survive overnight by myself!"

"Alright." he replied without protest.

Lina laughed. No smart-alec quips? Poor guy must be tired. They sat in silence a few more moments, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth radiating from him, the steady rise and fall of his back as he breathed. 

"What are you thinking about?" he broke the silence.

"A lot," she opened her eyes and squinted against the bright florescent lights above them. "Mostly what's going to happen to me after this."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she pushed her hair out of her face, and made a mental note to take a shower soon. "How long I'll be off-duty for recovery, what ship I'll be on when I go back..."

"You don't think you'll be on the _Irving_?"

"They have to replace a good part of the crew before they ship out again," she sighed. "It's easier to replace me and go now than wait for one officer to be fit to serve again. I'll likely be reassigned."

_And the odds of being stationed on the Citadel..._

"Don't think about it now," he said, trying to wedge the bad thoughts out of his own mind. "Enjoy your time off while you've got it."

She nodded, made a noncommittal response, and pushed herself back into a sitting position.

"You know, I don't think this table is very clean." Garrus observed.

"It's probably cleaner than our table at home."

"Well, yes, but I don't make it a habit to press my face onto that table," he picked himself up and turned to her. "Please tell me I didn't pick up anything embarrassing from there."

She smirked and brushed a few crumbs from his brow.

"Thank you." he stretched in his chair. The lights suddenly started going out, causing Lina to jump suddenly.

"I think they want us to leave." he stood from the uncomfortable plastic chair and held out his hand to help her up. He continued to clasp it as they followed the walkway out of the cafeteria.

The elevator was empty when it came down, thankfully, and Lina let herself lean into Garrus' side as they rode it up. She rested her head on the ball of his shoulder, and gathered her thoughts, trying to find the courage to broach a subject she did not want to bring up. She took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Garrus," she said quietly, her voice a little hoarse. "What happened before I left..."

She could feel him tense up.

He knew it was coming- she was not the type to let things like that lie.

He had tried to convince himself it was just a thing that humans do with their human friends, but after a bit of research on the extranet and around the clubs while on duty (including one embarrassing moment where he stopped one human couple during their gregarious displays of affection to ask them why they were doing what they were doing with the person they were doing it with, almost earning himself a knock about the face before the male eyed his sniper rifle and thought better of it), he discovered that no, it was definitely a romantic thing. And that if it wasn't a romantic display, it was widely considered a move of bad judgement influenced by hormones and alcohol. That's when his head started spinning.

So why had she kissed him?

And by the spirits, why had he kissed her back?

It was a foolish question, of course. He _knew_ why he had kissed her back. But whether it was erroneous judgement or true emotional intent that had driven her to do it in the first place, he was not quite prepared to find out. He looked down at her, her face expectant, waiting for his reaction, but...

It was far too soon. They had been together again for less than an hour, and in the last few weeks he hardly had the time to think about what he wanted to tell her.

He grasped her hand, squeezed it, and leaned down to press his forehead to hers.

He closed his eyes, "Let's not talk about that just yet. Right now, I want my best friend."

In the room again, Garrus was careful not to crush any of the IV tubes that the nurse replaced when Lina got back into bed. The two of them lay side-by-side on the tiny hospital bed, Lina flicking through the channels on the tiny vid screen mounted above her bed. She passed by a cheesy drama about rich elcor families and their problems, a documentary about a group of hanar that travel across Citadel space preaching about the Enkindlers, a reality show about an asari and her eight spoiled children.

Lina frowned., "Same old crap on TV."

"That hasn't changed in three weeks, Shepard." Garrus nudged her.

She smirked and turned the vid screen off, satisfied there was nothing worth watching. Letting out a yawn, she stretched herself out and turned to him, her eyes fluttering a little.

"I think it's about that time." she said.

"I'll go." he pushed himself off the bed. She grabbed his wrist to get his attention.

"If you're not doing anything tomorrow... come back?"

/-/

The next week was spent in the hospital. Lina caught up on her reading or cartoons, Garrus went back to work. Andrea had visited, once. There had been a lot of crying and hugging, which made Lina uncomfortable, but she had also brought sherry, which made Lina happy. By the time he finished his shift, the two were delightfully shitfaced with half a bottle left. Lina woke up the next morning to see Andrea cuddling her and Garrus sprawled on the visitor's chair.

She was finally released after she was deemed healthy, and felt like a celebrity as she made her way through the crowds of media, hood covering her face, Garrus beside her in C-Sec uniform as he led her to the waiting car. He got in after her and the two of them felt absurd as the car pulled up in front of the shitty walk-up that was home.

It took her a few days, but she eventually told him what it was like on Akuze. About the Thresher Maw attacking her crew, about the abandoned research station she'd used as shelter, about watching Peary freeze to death. And she told him how it reminded her, horribly, of her time in Montreal.

He was quiet for a moment before gently pressing his head to her own.

"Are you alright?" he finally asked.

She sighed. Truth was, she had been jumping at every little thing, afraid of another attack. Afraid of losing someone else.

"No." she admitted quietly, a little embarrassed.

He pulled her closer, nuzzling her ear.

"You will be."


	8. Changes We Will Confront

Well, hello, all.

Thank you for your patience! This is the final part to chapter 6 (long, I know) and chapter 7 is finished, but it won't be uploaded for a few days. Thanks as always to Tara for editing/support, the Dude for all the love and understanding of my crazy, Futurama for keeping me sane and everyone else for the laughs.

\-\

**Pt 4. - Changes We Will Confront**

"So I kissed Garrus," Lina spoke, mostly into her wine glass.

Andrea spat out her wine, managing to get most of it on the couch instead of the easily cleaned hardwood floor. Lina rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen to get a wet cloth. She tossed some dirty dishes aside, finally managing to find a somewhat clean cloth hiding in the sink, which she rinsed out thoroughly before wiping down the fabric of the couch.

"Pardon me?" Andrea asked, wiping her mouth.

Lina had been home for a few days, spending most of her time relaxing while she awaited further orders from the Alliance Navy. Garrus was at work, and Andrea had some leave time, so the two of them caught up over a bottle of cheap red wine, which they drank out of mismatched glasses. Lina's glass sat on the floor, due to the fact that their coffee table had broken a few months prior (whiskey-induced play fights were to blame), and she was careful to not knock it over as she shifted to wipe up more of the spill.

"You heard me!" Lina rubbed the cushions, wiping up most of the wine.

"I'm sorry but..." Andrea tried to think of the right words to describe how nonplussed she was at that moment. She settled on "_Wow_. Just, wow. I didn't think that you kissed anybody."

"So you're more amazed that I kissed _somebody_ than that I kissed _Garrus_."

"Yep," Andrea took another drink from her glass, managing to swallow. "And you guys live together. So I'm expecting disgusting mutant babies any day now."

Lina stopped mid-wipe and stared at her friend.

"I don't even-"

Andrea stared back, her face blank.

"We've never-"

Andrea took a small sip of her wine.

"... Well, fuck _you_ then!" Lina glared.

"You need it," the brunette quipped. "When was the last time for you, ten years?"

"I would have been 14."

"Eight years?"

Lina narrowed her eyes.

"A couple _months_," she wiped at a stain that was no longer there. "I had someone, on the _Irving_. I told him it was strictly a physical thing. He never complained."

"That's my girl!" Andrea tapped her glass to make a clink sound. "What happened to him? Where is he now?"

Lina's face fell, "Well, he's dead now."

Andrea pulled a face, "Should we drink to his honour?"

Lina sighed, "No..."

"To his cute butt?"

"He did have a cute butt."

"To that guy's cute butt!" Andrea clinked her glass against Lina's that time. Lina obliged, mostly to segue the topic away from her dead bed buddy. They both drank deeply.

"So, you kissed Garrus because..." Andrea settled herself back into girl talk mode.

"I don't know," Lina replied, exasperated. "You know, the two of us have had the same living arrangements for so long, I figured we were past the awkward, 'should I pursue this or not?' stage. Now there's this and I don't know how he's feeling and-"

"Wait wait wait, clarify this for me," the brunette pushed her long hair out of her face. "When you say kissed, do you mean, a quick peck or something... longer?"

"I mean," Lina rubbed the back of her neck, uncomfortable enough as it was. "Full on... passionate... grasping... making out. On the bed."

Andrea's eyes widened, a state of disbelief taking over her expression.

"For several minutes," the redhead added.

Andrea's glass slipped out of her hand, bouncing off of the couch, spilling everywhere, and shattering on the floor. Lina rolled her eyes again, and threw her friend the wet cloth.

"I'm getting you a sippy cup."

Andrea spoke as she cleaned up her mess, "So, he was doing it back?"

"Oh yes," Lina called from the kitchen as she poured out another glass. "Quite willingly."

"I can see why you're frazzled," Andrea picked up the bits of glass and brought them to the kitchen to dispose of. "I mean, I was just joking about the mutant babies, but-"

"If it was just me, I could blame it on being drunk," Lina pressed her palms to her eyes and sighed. "But this... this is just too much."

"I'm no good with this," She turned to the taller girl, eyes pleading, "Just tell me what to do."

Andrea nodded. It wasn't often that Shepard showed her vulnerabilities, and to see her in a totally helpless state was enough to take Andrea back with shock. Still, she felt an obligation to the younger girl, and the fact that Lina could be totally socially retarded sometimes was not lost on her. She nodded again. She needed to do the right thing in helping Lina, if not for her own sake, that way she wouldn't have to hear Lina bitching about this in the future, but...

"First thing's first, I'll be needing another drink."

Lina nodded and passed the her the cup that she had been pouring the wine into.

Andrea took it, inspecting it as it exchanged hands. The cup was plastic, with a top that had a plastic bendy straw sticking out of it. She scowled at the cup, and then at Lina.

"You actually gave me a sippy cup," she deadpanned.

Lina grinned, relieved by the temporary break in tension.

"When you learn how to drink like a big girl, you can have a regular cup again," she patted the brunette's shoulder in a condescending manner. "Until then, you get to drink wine with a straw."

The two eventually settled back on the couch, Andrea pushing only slightly for details and Lina refusing with ever-increasing hostility. It was about the time that Lina threatened to pull out her spine, skull still attached, and laugh maniacally "like that scene in _Predator_" that Andrea backed off, and got back to the task of actually helping her friend find a solution to her predicament.

"So, what do you _want_ to come out of this?" Andrea grasped her cup in one hand, pointing the straw towards her former roommate as they spoke. "I mean, would you want to have a relationship with him?"

Lina pushed back her hair, completely aware of her nervous habit. She took a deep breath and looked at the desk, at the vid screen, at the glass of wine in her hand, anything but Andrea's eyes.

"I don't know," was her response after all of her nervous fidgeting. "You know, he's my best friend, and I care about him, and part of me wants to go further but at the same time..."

There was a pause. Lina rubbed her neck again. Andrea made a circular motion with her wrist, urging her to continue.

"Even after all of this," she motioned around the room. "After two years of living together, of being so close and so comfortable, I'm still nervous about taking it any further."

"It's natural to feel that way when it involves a good friend," Andrea reassured her. "Not me, of course, I have no problems fucking my friends."

"You know what, Drea? I would give anything, _anything_ in the universe to walk in your shoes for one day," Lina laughed at the absurdity. "Just to see how it feels to be _so sure that everyone wants in your pants._"

"It's a pretty good feeling," Andrea grinned.

Lina shook her head. She wished, for a moment, that she had more friends. Even strangers to talk to. Anyone but the woman sitting across from her.

"But seriously," Andrea finally, thankfully, steered them back. "How many times have you wanted to jump him in the past?"

"Do you think I keep track?"

"Just guess!"

"I don't know... a few, at least."

"A few or a couple?"

"Is there a difference?"

"YES!" Andrea threw up her arms, the top on her cup keeping the wine from spilling. "There's a big difference!"

"I just..." Lina gave up. "Fuck it. A lot, okay? But I kept telling myself, 'not now, not now, it's not the right time'."

"But it was the right time that night?" Andrea probed.

"Obviously not," Lina groaned. "I was shipping out again the next day, even if I didn't have that clusterfuck on Akuze it would've been a bad time. I should have talked to him about it before, but I could never work up the courage to."

"What were you afraid of?"

Lina sighed, leaning forward so her head hung between her knees, taking her time before responding.

"Change?"

Andrea smiled, "Everything changes."

"And that's what's so unfair about life," Lina looked up and gave her a lopsided smile back.

Andrea placed her hand on her friend's back and rubbed it. With her other hand she brought the straw up to her mouth and sipped some more tasty cheap wine.

"Okay," Lina sat up again. "I'll admit, I've made some mistakes, and I realize now that I've put myself in an uncomfortable predicament, but I don't think I'm totally screwed."

Andrea nodded and motioned for her to continue.

"First, I think I need to talk to him about this-" Lina pulled her elastic out and shook out her hair as she spoke.

"Nope," Andrea interjected. "First you need to find out for sure what you want. _Then_ you can go ahead and talk his metaphorical ears off about this. _Then_ you can proceed with making disgusting mutant babies."

Lina groaned and let herself fall forward, landing face-first into a couch cushion.

"I hate this."

"I know you do," Andrea picked Lina's forgotten wine glass up from off the floor. "But you'll figure it out, and then it'll be okay."

Lina took her wine from Andrea, taking a large gulp.

"Promise?" she asked.

"No," Andrea replied. "But it's the best that I can do for you. This is something you need to do on your own."

After Andrea left, Lina curled up on the couch and listened to the sounds of the empty apartment. Garrus was at work- night shift- and wouldn't be home until early the next morning. She made a few rounds about the apartment, looking at the bed, the pictures tacked to the walls and fridge, the desk where he was rebuilding a vintage shotgun, the kitchen table where her oft-ignored space hamster resided. She pulled the fuzzy bugger out of his cage and rubbed his back for a few moments, putting him back when he peed on her.

She frowned, changed her shirt, then decided she needed a shower anyway.

She mostly stood in the shower, lightly banging her head against the tiled wall. She'd survived leaving home at an early age, living with vagrants and petty criminals. She was strong enough to make a new life, a _better_ life for herself and _thrive_ when given the opportunity to do so. She'd survived the harsh winds and cold winter of Akuze, and now she was _scared_ to do something so... so...

... _miniscule?_

She punched the tiles, taking her frustrations out on the wall until her knuckles bled. She turned off the water and sat on the lip of the tub, contemplating her situation and her bloody knuckles and the fact that her make-up was nicely dripping down her face. She eventually pulled herself to the mirror, examining her face and swearing only slightly as she used her thumb to rub off the mascara that ran below her eyes. She turned, inspecting herself in the mirror- every scar and line that adorned her body. She flexed her arms and took a look at the reflection of her muscles. It wasn't often that she wished she had a more... girlish figure, but looking at her reflection, with the utilitarian shape and limbs that were more toned than fragile, she couldn't help but feel as though she had been passed over, more than once, for being... a less than ideal companion.

She dropped her arm, frowned at herself in the mirror.

Stupid thoughts, of course. She was built for fighting and fighting was what she did best.

She turned off the light and walked out to the living room, grabbing some pyjamas from a pile of clean clothing that sat near the washer and dryer. She dressed, locked the apartment door, and turned off the lights before crawling into bed. She felt as though she had only been asleep a few minutes when a familiar smell overcame her and a familiar warmth wrapped itself around her. She snuggled in closer, pressing her face into the free spot between his cowl and his neck, and sighed.

She shifted, getting a bit more comfortable. He shifted with her. She cleared her throat.

"Hey, so," her voice croaked as she spoke up. "About what happened?"

He grunted in response, indicating that he was listening.

"I don't-," she paused. "I don't want to leave you hanging, but I don't know... exactly what it is I want yet."

He waited, not letting go, to hear her out.

"Just give me a few more days, okay?"

He nodded.

"Garrus?"

"I heard you," he replied. "A few more days."

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah," he hugged her tighter. "We've got that."

/-/

**Pt. 5 – Love is a Fragile Word**

They didn't have the time. After another day or two of trying to come to a conclusion, she still couldn't bring herself to articulate just what she wanted to say. She and Garrus spent their time together normally, as friends, like the awkwardness had never occurred. The only difference in behaviour being that she couldn't bring herself to speak her mind, to be as honest as she used to. Their once fluid conversation occasionally came to a halt. An awkward, silent halt.

She wanted things to stay the same... for now. But whenever she was reminded of that evening, she went quiet, backed away from him. She hid behind the walls that he'd so meticulously taken down.

He noticed, she was sure, but he never said anything. Though she kind of wished he would. She needed to be forced into saying it, not just thinking about saying it. At the hospital, when she tried to bring it up in the elevator, he'd stopped her, saying it wasn't the right time.

Later, a few days after her talk with Andrea, Lina knew she would have to make it the right time. She was sitting at his desk, re-reading a message she'd received from Alliance Command just that morning.

It was time to go.

\-\

Lina was on his personal console when Garrus got home, checking her mail. She closed her messages when he walked in, carrying some groceries. He reached into the bag and tossed her an orange before shutting the door behind him.

"Hey," she called quietly from the desk. "How was work?"

"Busy!" he replied, walking quickly into the bedroom as he pulled off his armour.

"How are the criminals?"

"Belligerent and numerous!" he called from behind the shut door. When he reemerged, he was changed into civilian clothes and was carrying the cloths and soap used to polish his armour. "How was your day?"

"Uneventful, until I checked my messages," she replied, peeling open the orange slowly.

"What's the news?" he asked, pausing to look at her before he started cleaning his breastplate. "Are you alright?"

She paused a moment, looking at the orange skin she had just peeled before dropping her hands and meeting his gaze.

"I need to take you somewhere," she said after a moment's hesitation.

"Alright, where did you have in mind?"

"I can't tell you, but," she checked the time. "Could we go now?"

He set down his armour and shifted down the couch so he was closer to her. Up close, he could see that she was hesitant about something. She looked back down at the orange and continued to peel it instead of looking him in the eye.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"It's a secret," she replied, still peeling. "And it can't wait. I have to show you, tonight."

"It can't wait until tomorrow?"

"It won't be there tomorrow."

He sighed. All he wanted to do when he got home was have a drink and not think about the universe outside of his apartment. She was looking back up at him now, pleading with her eyes.

"Alright," he replied. "But you're cooking dinner when we get back."

/-/

He recognized the area almost instantly- it was a tourist-heavy section of the wards during the day, but it was starting to get late in the evening and most of the visitors had abandoned the museums and galleries in search of dinner.

Lina, pulling him by the hand, practically dragged him towards a building that was instantly recognizable in its uniqueness. The Lythia Dantius Museum of Art, named after one of the earliest asari council members, was of strange architecture that "could be straight from 18th century Earth", as Lina put it.

Lina looked up at the brown stone building with its arched doorways and windows and corroded copper roof. Her heart skipped a beat, and she suddenly missed the smell of her leather jacket, discarded just before she left for the Citadel- the last item connecting her to her old life. She wished she were standing on cobblestone instead of concrete, and she could almost hear the sound of boats on the river. She felt like she was standing in Old Montreal.

"How does the copper turn green if no moisture is getting to it?" she wondered aloud, cocking her head to the side as she considered the corroded roof of the museum.

"A couple thousand years of recycled air should do the trick," Garrus responded, touching her elbow. "You want to go in there?"

She nodded and grabbed his hand again to lead him inside. She paid for the two of them, heeding the receptionists warning that the museum was closing in an hour. Lina assured her that they wouldn't be long.

She spotted a map on the wall and scoured it, touching the screen to flip through the diagrams of each floor until she spotted the exhibit she was looking for. It took up the entire top floor of the building. In the elevator, she leaned into Garrus' chest. Being laid up for several weeks had zapped her of her energy, and she made a vow to start exercising again soon.

"Can you tell me what we're doing here now?" the turian asked. She shook her head and watched the lobby fall away through the glass sides of the elevator car.

"It's a secret," she smiled, her playful side coming back just a little.

"What exhibit are we going to, at least?"

Before she could respond, the elevator dinged and the doors opened to reveal the name of the exhibit posted on the wall.

"_500 Years of Earth,_" he read.

"A small glimpse at the artwork of Earth over the last half millennium," she repeated the short description just below.

"You brought me here because..."

"I want to share a bit of my species' culture with you before it's gone," she replied, walking through the entrance. "Tonight's the last night for the exhibit, and there's one piece you have to see."

Lina lead them through the halls, stopping only briefly to point out certain pieces. Some Garrus found to his liking, others seemed too strange or self-indulgent. There were quite a few scenes of violence, some bowls of fruit, (Why? He wondered) others were statues of odd-looking creatures or humans that seemed deformed. A couple landscape pieces next to some solid colour blocks. A repeated portrait of some blonde human female. A photo of a spiral jetty in the middle of a lake. A lightbox with some men avoiding flying pieces of paper. Lots of naked humans. The more he saw the more confused he got. Brush swipes that were supposed to be fish? Melting clocks? A picture of graffiti depicting a couple of rats making remarks about society?

Garrus shook his head. He did not get art.

Lina finally fought out the piece she wanted him to see. Compared to many others it seemed kind of plain. A girl in a turban, looking over her shoulder at the viewer. She was pale-skinned and blue-eyed, and he did not see the appeal in this particular piece.

"This is why we came," Lina said, not taking her eyes from the painting.

"What's so special about it?" he asked, gazing a little longer to see if he would have a sudden epiphany and find wondrous joy and beauty in the portrait of some broad.

He did not.

Lina turned and pushed him back about a metre. She turned so her back was towards him, facing the painting. She pushed her hair behind her ear and looked back over her shoulder at him, revealing the pearl stud in her ear.

He mumbled a quiet epithet.

"It's you."

She shot him a confused look, and he shook his head. Of course it wasn't her. It was painted 300 years before she was born.

"I mean, she looks just like you," he clarified. "Rather, I suppose she's older, so you look like her."

"Check the name of the artist," she pointed to the title plate next to the frame.

"Joe Hannas Vermeer?" he cocked an eye ridge, fumbling over the pronunciation of the foreign name.

"Johannes Vermeer," she corrected, emphasizing the soft letters. "It's Dutch."

"I don't know what that means..."

"Never mind, it's just..." she shook her head and pointed to the name once again. "You don't remember?"

He suddenly made the connection, once he spotted the partially hidden earring on the girl.

_I feel like I'm in a Vermeer painting._

"When you gave me these, at my graduation? I said..."

"I remember," he stopped her.

"This is what I was talking about."

He looked back and forth between her and the painting. He was beginning to see her appreciation in it.

"She does look like you," he repeated, tracing the shape of the girl's nose and eyes with his talon, then turning back to Lina and doing the same. "Very similar."

"You think?" she asked. "I don't think so. At least, I think she's far more beautiful."

Lina was surprised when Garrus gave a prompt, "No, she isn't."

Lina smiled and continued to look at the painting. They stood in silence for a few moments, admiring it until she worked up the courage to spill the bad news. Her stomach was doing flips and there was a huge knot in her throat but she finally managed to open her mouth and tell him.

"Two days," she said.

He tore his eyes from the girl and looked at the redhead next to him.

"Until what?" he asked.

"I ship out again."

"On the _Irving_ again?"

She shook her head.

"Will you be stationed on the Citadel still?"

She didn't move. Her silence gave him the answer he didn't want to hear.

"Where?"

"Exodus Cluster," she replied. "_SSV Engels_. There are a lot of human colonies that the Alliance wants to protect out there. Commander Anderson recommended me for the job as an executive officer."

Garrus could only nod. The two stood in silence for a bit longer. Lina cleared her throat.

"We both knew it would happen-"

"I know," he replied, not taking his eyes from the ground. "I just hoped it wouldn't be so soon."

He looked up again, she was staring at the painting. In the last couple weeks she had looked tired, fragile, but there was still that spark in her eye- the passion that made her exceptional. Now all he could see was disdain. He wanted to grab her hand again, to pull her closer, to nuzzle her and nip her temple and push her hair behind her ear. Hell, he wanted to cup her face in his hands and kiss her, but he was afraid to touch her. He felt as though she would crumble in his grasp, falling through his fingers into a pile of dust on the floor.

She turned and looked back up at him. She looked so sad- worse than he'd ever seen her before. She wiped at her nose and put her hands on her hips, trying to maintain her composure.

Looking at her, seeing her like this- suddenly he hated dust. He hated dust and that stupid painting and the human colonies that needed protecting and the damn Alliance for taking her away from him.

Fuck it, he thought to himself, you won't get another chance.

She saw his anger starting to rise up.

"Garrus..." she started, but wasn't entirely sure what to finish with. She decided to sound authoritative, "We both know that I'm dedicated to my career and if I need to travel then-"

She stopped. Garrus had closed the distance between them, cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

Well... kind of.

Lina recognized the action. He lightly nipped her lower lip before giving it a little lick. It was the same as the night two months ago, when she had kissed him in her still tipsy state the morning before her last run on the _Irving_.

Fuck it, she thought. You won't get another chance.

She ran her hands up his neck, clasping them at the back and pulling his head down to meet hers, and kissed him back.

It didn't last long. A loud, dramatic throat clearing alerted them to the presence of museum security doing a sweep of the building to kick everybody out. The salarian guard gave them a disapproving look as they slipped back into the elevator. Lina very thoughtfully flipped him off as the doors closed.

The two of them walked back to the apartment in silence.

Garrus wasn't sure what to think. The only time he was so forward with a girl was when he didn't care about them, and he very, very deeply cared about Shepard.

_\-\_

Garrus sat on the kitchen counter, feet in the sink, cigarette in his hand. The window was nudged open a few centimetres and he was looking out the narrow gap between the angle his window gave and the outer wall of the building next door, watching the lights of the wards. The crack, though thin, allowed for the traffic and lights of society to permeate through the dark of their tiny apartment. Cars drove past, kilometres away, oblivious to what was going on in the turian's head.

Lina was sleeping, or at least lying down in the bedroom. He had been laying down as well, but found it too difficult to waste the last few hours with her unconscious.

The previous day he'd called in sick, choosing to spend the day doing absolutely nothing but making sure the time passed as slowly as possible. The two of them watched cartoons, made fun of people on the extranet sites, sat on the couch in silence- anything to spend the last few hours just enjoying the other's company. They went to bed, but Garrus wasn't tired. After he was sure she had fallen asleep, he stared at the ceiling, thinking, until he decided to have a smoke and made his way to the kitchen. That's when he discovered that he could see the city lights from his kitchen window. Five years in that apartment and he always assumed that his only view from the kitchen was the neighbouring building's outer wall.

Shows how much he'd been paying attention.

His cigarette almost done, he stubbed it out in a dirty coffee cup. He was about to hop off the counter and return to bed when he saw Lina standing in the doorway.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey back," he said.

"What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," he replied.

"Me neither," she shrugged and walked over, her bare feet patting lightly on the linoleum.

She crawled onto the counter and sat between his legs to stare out the window with him. She waved her hand in front of her nose and grimaced when she spotted the mug in the sink.

"I wish you wouldn't smoke," she said as she pushed it as far from her as she could with her foot.

"I know, I know," he smirked and picked it up, placing it on the counter behind them.

"It stinks over here," she commented, pushing the window open further. She stopped when she caught a glimpse of the lights.

"Oh wow," she whispered. "I didn't realize you could see the city from here."

Garrus leaned forward, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She leaned back, enjoying the warmth of his chest pressed to her back.

"Will you miss it?" he asked. "The Citadel?"

"No," Lina replied, not tearing her eyes from the lights of the wards. "There's too much to see elsewhere."

She shifted herself to turn and look at him, "But I will miss you."

He touched his forehead to hers. She cupped his face in her eyes. They both closed their eyes.

"I will miss you so much, Garrus," she repeated.

He didn't respond, only making a soft grunt in the back of his throat as he placed his hands on her back, pulling her in closer. They were quiet as they embraced, their feet still in the sink. She shifted again, resting her head on the flat part of his shoulder, nose pressing onto his cowl.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

His mandibles clicked in response, and he gave her a somewhat uncomfortable smile.

"I'm thinking about..." he started, then gave up. "A lot."

She laughed into his shoulder, then poked him in the ribs. Or where she assumed his ribs would be.

"Come on," she probed. "The very first night we met, you got me to spill a lot about myself that no one else could."

He gave a rakish shrug.

"And although you're bad at lying," she poked him again. "You more than make up for it in being able to avoid uncomfortable subjects. But not tonight."

She moved, sitting herself on the partition in the sink so she faced him head on.

"If there's anything you want to tell me," she took his hands into her own. "Now's the time."

Every instinct he had told him to make a joke, to change the subject. Hell, to jump out the window if need be (it was only four storeys... he could maybe survive that.)

But she was right. This was the ass-end of the very last chance he would receive. When the station turned and the wards were filled with light from the closest star, the night cycle would be over, and she would be gone. For good.

He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He considered taking a drink straight from the tap but it would get them both wet and besides it was a really awkward angle and he didn't think he could bend that far. Or maybe he could. Maybe if the tap was in the far sink he could...

The sight of Lina's expectant face brought his mind back to where it should be, and he closed his eyes, determined to gather his thoughts, to articulate his feelings as best as he could.

"I care about you so much, Lina," he said. "I don't know what I did to deserve this but since I met you I've felt so lucky to have someone who understands me as readily and easily as you do. And it's going to be awful when you're gone because there's no way I'll ever be able to find anyone else like you.

"You are, undoubtedly, the greatest friend I've ever had, and I love you to bits, and I want you to go forward and continue to break the hearts of men who don't get you and don't deserve you, but I really, really hope that you think of me once in a while, Lina, because I'll always be thinking of you."

Lina was shocked, not just because this was the longest that he had ever gone without cracking a joke, but because this was Garrus, the quiet, misunderstood turian rebel, unfiltered, pouring his heart out on the kitchen counter they sat on for her to see, when he had always been so careful, choosing to mask himself with humour instead of letting his guard down. Lina did the only acceptable thing at that point.

She burst into tears.

Garrus laughed as she buried her head in his shoulder. She smacked him and made some illegible theats as he pulled her closer.

"Don't cry," he pleaded as she sobbed into his chest. "I'm no good with criers."

Lina wiped her face and sat up again, perched on the partition still. He studied her carefully, wiping her cheek gently with his thumb. She sniffed again and pressed her face into his hand, savouring the scent. He smiled.

"What was that?" he asked.

Lina laughed between sniffled.

"Because you said you're the lucky one," she replied.

He pulled her in again, letting out a soft purr when she wrapped her arms around his chest and moved, once again, to his side of the counter to sit right next to him. She wondered how the universe decided that the two of them should find one another, how they could each have just enough give and take to make them even. How she could find someone to hold her despite all of her pushing away.

She met his eyes once again, "Thank god you see me the way you do."

He smirked and pushed her hair back out of her eyes, "Strange as you are to me."

She kissed him again, just like the first time when she had been tipsy and decided to go for it. He kissed her back.

She pulled back.

"Wait, did you say that you lo-"

Garrus made some loud, unintelligible noises and covered her mouth with his hand before she could finish the sentence.

"I may have said something to that effect," he replied, his hand still over her mouth. "But not that it matters now."

Lina pulled his hand away and stared him in the eye. He broke their gaze to stare out the window, nervous, but she grabbed his face and pulled it back.

"Look at me," she ordered. "I care about you. I couldn't ever have gotten this far without you pushing me.

"You're worth everything to me, Garrus, and I want more than anything to stay here with you, but it's my time to leave."

"I know-"

"Will you be okay without me?"

"I'll be alright," he replied. "Bored, but alright."

It hurt a bit to say, but he knew it to be true.

"I love you, too."

"Oh, good," he pulled her closer and nuzzled her shoulder. "Now that we've got that out of the way, shall I make some coffee?"

"Wait," she leaned back. "I've got a better idea."

/-/

In one hand, Lina held her overnight bag, carrying within it all of the belongings she could need on the _Engels_. In the other, she squeezed Garrus' hand as she led him through the wards. She stopped finally when they arrived at a clearing, a patch of grass undisturbed by pedestrian traffic. She crawled up the short rock facing the elevated the spot from the footpath and turned to hold her hand out to Garrus, presumably to help him up.

He gave her a nonplussed look and easily stepped up onto the platform.

"Tall asshole," she narrowed her eyes.

"Short stuff," he bantered back.

"Hey string bean, why are your pockets so high?"

"Hey, look over there- oh wait, you can't see over that small hedge."

"How's the weather up there, Andre?"

"Hope you like the smell of ass and feet, shortround."

Lina dropped her bag on the grass and sat herself down. Garrus paused a moment, watching her before he plopped himself down next to her.

"So," he took a second to drag her closer to him. "What are we doing here?"

Lina pointed up to the nebula cloud, just filtering into the sky as the day cycle began.

"I've seen many a twilight fall on the wards, but never the proverbial sunrise. And I would like to see at least one before I leave."

"I see," Garrus replied, then poked her thigh playfully. "You know the sun doesn't actually rise over the Citadel."

"I know, Garrus."

"The station just shifts to let the light in," he held up his hand and twisted his wrist to demonstrate.

"The sun doesn't rise over Earth, either, but we still call it a sunrise."

"You humans are silly," he leaned back, resting his hands on the grass behind him.

"Living with me for two years didn't confirm this?"

"I know _you're _silly," he joked.

She chuckled and the two of them sat in comfortable, familiar silence for several minutes. He let out an audible breath.

"So why did we come here?"

"I told you."

"No, I mean, why did we come _here_?" he pointed at the ground.

"Because this is the first place you brought me when we met," she replied. "And I like the idea of things coming full circle, you know?"

Garrus thought for a minute, "No."

"Yeah, neither do I," she admitted. "It's some new age mumbo jumbo that the psychologist told me to read up on."

He lay back in the grass, "So what's it all about?"

"The idea of leaving nothing unfinished," she replied, laying back with him. "And the idea that everything comes back to the beginning."

Garrus chuckled, "In an investigation, it's bad if you keep running in circles. Everything needs to be linear- point 'a' to point 'b'."

"Yeah, but what happens after point 'b'?"

"I'm not sure," he replied. "But I sure as shit don't want to end up at point 'a' again and again."

Lina curled against him, trying to soak up as much of his warmth and smell as she could.

"Neither do I."

\-\

Garrus was being pelted with rocks. He shot up, glaring at the offending duct rats that scattered as soon as he sat up. When he rubbed his eyes to adjust to the daylight he looked around, seeing people milling about as the shops started to open. He threw the rocks back at the kids who had hidden behind a park bench and smoothed his fringe back when they took off again.

He checked his omni-tool, 0820hrs. He panicked, heart pounding, and searched for Lina, preparing for her reaction when she realized she had missed take-off.

But Lina was gone, so was her bag.

Garrus sat back down on the grass, alone.

He checked his omni-tool again, switching to the flight reports on C-Sec channels. The _Engels_ had taken off on schedule with all assigned crew aboard the ship.

His heart sank as he realized the horrible reality- she was gone, and she had left without saying goodbye.

He walked back to the apartment at a snails pace. He dreaded the moment when he kicked open the door and all of her stuff would be gone. He got to the door and found that he didn't have the drive to force it open, instead leaning on it until it fell open, letting him drop to the ground where he lay for several minutes, a pile of pathetic, listless turian asshole until he found the energy to drag himself inside and kick the door shut behind him.

He tried watching the vids, but nothing held his attention. He checked his messages, hoping for a note, a long, heartfelt love letter; hell, even a "kthxbye!" but his inbox was filled with nothing but spam and increasingly hostile notes from an asari he'd courted six months earlier that couldn't take a hint.

He smoked. He sat on the couch and stared at the wall. He made coffee. He banged his head on the dining room table a few times and decided that yes, it was worse than the hospital cafeteria table.

He checked the time. 0905Hrs.

He decided then that he best get a new direction in life or it was going to be a very long and lonely existence, indeed.

He allowed himself to wallow for another thirty seconds before he opened his satchel and got to work.

/-/

Lina watched the Citadel fade out of view from the observation deck of the _Engels_. She knew she had done a shitty thing. She wanted to wake him up, to say goodbye, to walk with him to the docks, but she knew that if she had she'd be a blubbering mess by the time she boarded the ship, and she couldn't have her new crew see her in that way.

So she left. She kissed him on the forehead and grabbed her bag and ran as quickly as she could to the docks without looking back.

You're doing it again, Lina, she told herself. Pick up and leave without a word- you did it to your parents, you did it to your friends on Earth and now you're doing it to Garrus.

"It's different this time..."

How?

She couldn't respond.

"Lieutenant?" a voice called from the doorway. She turned and saw one of the younger crew members standing at attention by the door.

"I'm sorry, you have me at a disadvantage."

"Officer Alenko," he replied, saluting her.

"Lieutenant Shepard," she held out her hand for him to shake, which he accepted warmly.

"I know," he smiled. "From the news, I recognized your hair. You're pretty famous since that mess on Akuze, huh?"

Lina frowned. Who the hell was this kid to bring that up so... casually? She put her serious face back on.

"What is it that you need, soldier?" she asked, purposefully sounding harsh and a little bitchy.

"Captain Wong wishes to speak with you on the bridge," he replied, shocked, standing at attention once again.

"Thank you," she responded. "Dismissed."

The door shut behind the young officer as he left her alone on the observation deck. She took one last look at the Citadel as a smirk played at her lips. Intimidating the young officers in C-Sec was always a favourite game of Garrus', one she was glad to continue on her own.

She shook her head, attempting to put a serious face back on, but the memory of the kid's face when she barked at him was enough to make her crack a full on grin. Her smile faded a bit when she realized she'd have no one to share the moment with. Garrus would be the only one to chuckle along with her, and he wasn't here to do that.

Her smile disappeared more readily that time, and she stood straight and turned away from the window, determined to find and introduce herself to her new Captain.

She could always scare the kid again later.

/-/

And now you all hate me.

Keep an eye out for the final chapter in the next few days. :)


	9. Black Gives Way to Blue

_Somewhere beyond the thunderdome,_

_Someday we just might find a home,_

_Autonomistic paradise,_

_Worth all the world without a price,_

_And we could all be happy there,_

_Eat soylent green, breathe soylent air,_

_And never rest our weary heads,_

_We'll all sleep when we're dead._

(Star Fucking Hipsters)

**Chapter 7: Black Gives Way to Blue**

She never wrote, Garrus thought as he looked over his notes. He was going through the information he'd gathered on Saren Arterius, the council Spectre supposedly gone rogue. New information had come in regarding his crimes, and Garrus had to shake a few people to get it (merely stretching his powers, not going past them), and one name kept coming up.

Commander Lina Shepard.

It had been five years since they sat on the kitchen counter together, spending their last night in the apartment by staring out the window talking. He told her he loved her. She kissed him in response. They watched the station shift and fell asleep together. When he woke up, she was gone.

He didn't let himself mourn. He got up, went to work. By the end of the week he had a new apartment. By the end of the month he was made Investigator.

He stared at her name a little longer, Commander Lina Shepard, then realized that she _had_ written, once. She wrote a short letter to him almost a year after she left, apologizing for not getting in touch sooner, they hardly had stable extranet access near the Terminus Systems. She would write again when she got the chance.

He read the letter three or four times before deleting it. It would be too easy to get lost in his memories if he were to hear from her again.

And now here she was, so close he could almost smell her. Part of him longed to run his talons through her curls. Part of him longed to delete her name from his notes.

He shook his head, trying to get back to reality. It was time to be a professional. He finished his reports and gathered the necessary information then pushed all of his paperwork into the brown leather satchel he still used. He stuck the satchel under his desk and grabbed the datapad that held his case file. Taking one last sip of coffee, he stood, jogged out of his office (smacking Chellick on the back of the head on the way, just because) and went in search of Executor Pallin.

/-/

Over ten years of service. She'd fought batarian raiders, helped evacuate colonies during natural disasters, taken down petty criminals and mercs alike, and all she was known for was _living_.

Everywhere she went, if someone recognized her, it was because she managed to _not die_ while she was on Akuze.

Shepard sighed. She really needed to get a new schtick. Something _really worth_ being remembered for. And judging by the recent mission to Eden Prime, this was most likely it.

She was anxious. She hadn't been on the Citadel in so long, she wondered if she would still know her way around. She wondered if her favourite bars were still in business. She wondered if she'd run into him again. She pushed the thought from her mind- the Citadel was a big place, and her business was on the Presidium, where he never spent time. The likelihood of seeing him again was slim, unless she wanted to go into creepy stalker mode and take a walk around their old neighbourhood.

She stood on the rarely used observation deck and looked down at the Serpent Nebula and the space station hidden within its gases. A small but important part of her past was still down there, waiting for her to return.

Her Garrus, she thought and sighed. She missed him. She'd written him once, determined to stop the damned habit she had of losing contact with people and not caring. She did care about him. He was her best friend.

But she'd waited too long. He had probably moved on, changed his address. What if he didn't want to hear from her? It didn't seem like him. She checked her messages daily for the first week, but when she didn't hear back, she could only assume that he either didn't get it or didn't want to respond to it.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Lieutenant Alenko standing next to her.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked.

Lina nodded, not responding.

Alenko was... nice. A little too nice. Too eager to please everyone. She could tell that he was attracted to her but she did not reciprocate those feelings. He was handsome, sure. Unique, being an early human biotic. But he was also her subordinate and there was no fraternizing allowed on her ship.

Plus, he had no sense of humour.

She brushed his hand off of her shoulder, hoping he would get the hint, and stood a little taller.

"Get suited up, you and Williams are coming down with me to meet with the Council," Commander Shepard spoke, while Lina still let her thoughts race around in her head.

"Yes, Commander," he saluted before he left the room.

The door shut behind her and she relaxed again. She took a step forward and leaned her forehead on the tempered glass of the observation window and sighed, her breath showing on the glass.

Plan for today, she made a list in her mind: Go to Citadel, talk to Council, face likely possibility of rejection by Council, disable comm on Omni-tool to avoid any possible humiliating drunk dials, drown in bottle of tequila.

She took a deep breath and nodded.

Sounds good.

\-\

She crossed her arms and tapped her foot as the elevator slowly brought them up Citadel Tower. She likened its speed to that of continental drift, and could only ask "What is this, the _dark ages?"_ as muzak played over the speakers, interrupted every couple minutes by a news report of something that she already knew had happened.

Mostly because she had been there on Eden Prime.

It was kind of fucked up.

The elevator doors finally opened and the three of them, herself, Lt. Alenko and Gunnery Chief Williams (a recent addition to the _Normandy_ crew) stepped into the Council floors. Lina was surprised at how dark it was- she expected bright lights and birds flying and maybe some trumpets playing in the background. Instead she was greeted by a dim, quiet space, lined with trees and benches. It was rather soothing.

Some dignitaries of varying species were milling about, likely waiting for their turn to be audience to the Council, and directly in front of them were two turians in C-Sec armour, obviously arguing. Lina thought it pathetic how her heart skipped a beat at the sight of them. There were thousands of turian C-Sec officers, what are the chances that he would be-

And then the one on the left turned. Same facial tattoos, same blue eyes, same face.

"Oh, sweet Jesus," she muttered.

"Vakarian," Pallin practically shouted his name to draw the Investigator's attention back to him. "Forget about your investigation, the Council will never accept that one of their best Spectres has gone rogue. Your investigation is over."

Garrus growled as the executor walked away. He tried to get more time, to finish gathering the evidence he needed. He was given a paltry two days to put this together.

And then he'd come across her name. And he _knew_ that if she had something to do with this, she'd likely be on the Citadel to answer to the Council. But he still felt frozen in place when he saw her, shocked.

She looked the same, but her hair was straight. The same old scars adorning her cheeks. The N7 logo blazing brightly on her armour, like a beacon. He'd seen one or two other N7 graduates in full armour in his time, but they didn't seem to wear it as proudly as she always had.

His mind went back to the time that he spent with her. How he'd polish her armour because she was too tired. He always took extra care around the logo.

But that was years ago. Sure she looked the same, but likely she was a different person. If he could get her to comment about the always perfect weather, he was sure he'd be happy, but he couldn't expect too much from a person that had grown and changed as much as he had.

He turned his head back to the group of humans standing a few feet away from him.

"_Commander_ Shepard," he said, unable to meet her eyes. He looked at his datapad instead.

"_Investigator_ Vakarian," Lina responded, eyeing the ranking on his armour. "What do you have there?" she asked, motioning towards the datapad.

"A fucking paperweight," he replied spitefully, passing it to her. "This assignment gets passed to me and I'm supposed to fight all of the red tape and classified information to bring down a Spectre in a matter of days? I don't think so."

He eyed the two other humans. One male, who looked defensive, standing almost protectively close to Shepard. One female, who looked more curious than anything.

Maybe she never told her new crew about their friendship, he thought. It would make sense. It didn't seem like something she would bring up in everyday conversation.

He turned back to her, her eyebrow cocked as she read his notes. What other chance would he have? There was only the problem of her minions...

"Looks like you've got quite a bit of information still..." she said, cutting off his thought process.

"Not that it matters," he growled, frustrated. He let out a yell and tore off his left boot, football kicking it across the room. It got caught in the higher branches of one of the trees.

"I think that's a field goal," Lina smirked.

"It's bullshit is what it is," he mumbled, then tore off his other boot and threw it in the opposite direction. It landed in a small pond with a splash.

He turned back and saw the two humans standing behind Lina gawking at him. He singled out the male and shouted, "What the fuck are you standing there for, skinny? Go get them!" and pointed towards the tree his first boot was stuck in.

Alenko opened and closed his mouth several times, shocked, before turning to Lina, "Commander, he can't be-"

"I recommend that you go get his boots, Alenko," Lina replied, not looking up from the datapad.

"But Commander!"

"Alenko, have you ever seen an angry turian?" she asked, now looking up at the frazzled lieutenant.

He shook his head.

"This is an annoyed turian," she said, pointing at Garrus. "Note the extended fringe and narrowed eyes. An angry turian is claws out, teeth bared, ready to tear your eyes out at a moment's notice. Do you want your eyes torn out, Lieutenant?"

Alenko shook his head again.

"Then I recommend that you retrieve the Investigator's boots," she finished, and turned to Ashley. "You should help him."

"But Commander-"

"Are you questioning my orders, Chief?" Lina asked, fire in her eyes, challenge in her voice.

"... no."

"Then hop to, skinny."

It was almost comical how quickly the two of them left. Lina chuckled and turned back to Garrus. He looked more relaxed, his fringe smoothed down, and stood next to her with his arms crossed. She smiled at him, he smiled back.

"You don't look surprised to see me," she said.

"I came across your name a lot in my investigation," he admitted. "I assumed you would be here at some point."

Silence descended as the two of them watched Alenko climb the tree in an attempt to retrieve Garrus' left boot. Williams was at the base of the tree, yelling instructions at him. Garrus laughed and shook his head.

"You know I only did it to get a moment with you," he said.

"I know," Lina smirked. "I remember what you're like when you're angry, and you don't throw things. You get quiet and you brood. You destroy things when you're in a good mood."

"How have you been?" he asked, chuckling at her. She still knew him so well.

"Busy," she replied. "This is the first time I've been to the Citadel in years. From what I've seen not much has changed."

"Nothing ever changes here, really," he sighed.

"Same shit, different year."

"Exactly."

They watched the Lieutenant and Gunnery Chief again. Alenko had retrieved the first boot and was walking across the room to fish the second from where it landed in a pond.

"Who are they?" Garrus asked as he watched.

"He's no one special, she's new to the ship," Lina responded. "She calls me Skipper for some reason."

"Because you're Commander of a ship?"

"Is that what that means?"

"It sure is."

"Well what do you know."

"Clearly, I know more about your native language than you do."

Lina smacked his waist. He chuckled. She let out a laugh, a real laugh.

"It's good to see you, Garrus," she said.

"Likewise," he responded.

Kaiden and Ashley returned, victoriously thrusting the boots in Garrus' direction. He snatched the left one and put it on but only glared at the right.

"Am I looking for a home for my fish?" he asked, his voice annoyed and demanding once again.

Alenko only raised an eyebrow.

"It's wet. I'm not going to walk around in a wet shoe all damn day," Garrus glared at him. "Go dry that shit!"

"But, how-" Alenko shook his head in disbelief.

"Does it look like I give a fuck how?" Garrus demanded, cutting him off.

Alenko turned to Lina once again. She merely waved him off, her eyes telling him to do as the turian says. Kaiden merely let out a frustrated groan as he stalked off in search of some towels.

Ashley watched Kaiden run off, then turned to Shepard and Garrus and saw they were both pointing in the direction Alenko went, ordering her to follow. She sighed, saluted Shepard, and turned to run after the Lieutenant.

"I feel ridiculous standing here with one boot on," Garrus admitted.

"You're the one that threw them in the first place," Lina couldn't help but grin as Garrus threw up his hands and shook his fists at the sky.

"Damn my rash decisions!" he joked. "Always getting my boots wet!"

Shepard laughed. "I could turn that into a _very_ dirty comment!"

"Listen," he said quietly, ignoring her last comment, leaning down so the approaching _Normandy_ crew didn't overhear. "After you're finished with the Council, meet with me? I'll be running errands in the Upper wards by the markets, alright?"

Lina nodded.

"And..." he added, eyeing Kaiden and Ashley. "Don't bring your goons, please."

"I'll get rid of them before I come find you," Lina replied.

Kaiden approached, holding the now only slightly damp boot before him. Garrus took it and felt inside, mumbling about it still being cold as he slipped it on his foot.

"I think the Council's ready for us, Commander," Ashley said as she approached, cautiously eyeing the turian.

"Thanks Chief," Lina replied, and turned to Garrus, handing him back his datapad. "I'll see you later."

"Best of luck, Commander," he nodded at her.

"Likewise," she said back, smiling.

They parted ways. Garrus walked into the elevator. Lina walked up the steps towards the meeting platform, her crew in tow.

"Commander, if you don't mind my asking, who was that?" Ashley asked as Lina overtook the steps, two at a time.

"Someone very important to me," she replied. "And that's all you need to know. Now, eyes on the game, kiddo. We're here to work."

\-\

Lina had only ever seen Garrus shoot at a firing range before. She knew he was a good shot, but it wasn't until he nailed that merc right between the eyes, shot not even grazing the doctor's head, that she realized just _how_ good he was.

She didn't let it distract her. Three left. She turned the corner around the separating half-wall and crouched behind a container, peeking slightly around the corner to see where the mercs stood. One on the left, two on the right. She pulled out her Banshee II- not the greatest for accuracy but this close it wouldn't matter. She popped up quickly to fire at the lone gunman on the left, the crate she was kneeling behind blocking enemy fire. She fired a short burst of rounds to break through his kinetic barrier, then another to slice through his armour, practically liquifying the meat on his shoulder. He was down. Next to her, Garrus took out one on the right. That just left the one behind the crates near the back, too well hidden for either of them to get a shot.

She looked at Garrus, he was looking back at her. She grabbed an explosive charge from her belt, opening the clips and tossed it back, checking quickly to see that it adhered to the back wall. Garrus fired a few rounds at the back wall to assure that the poor bastard stayed behind the crate while the 10-second delay eased past. They crouched again, the clip went off. The two of them locked eyes again, standing up from behind their respective hiding places to quickly walk back, guns still drawn. They checked behind the crate. He was definitely dead, a great amount of blood spilling onto the floor from where the grenade had opened up his side.

"Eugh," Lina kicked at the corpse with her boot. "What a mess."

It felt good, really. Especially after her frustrating meeting with the Council. She wanted to release a few rounds in the ship's firing range, but remembered her promise to meet up with Garrus. She dismissed her crew, giving them a list of weapons and armour upgrades to pick up, and buggered off to the upper wards to find him. A haggard-looking C-Sec officer in Chora's Den pointed her in the right direction, and Shepard, happily leaving the shithole bar that her comrades used to frequent, went to find the medical centre she'd been pointed to.

And that's when she found the doctor being threatened by mercs, Garrus crouched behind the wall, waiting for his opportunity. Shepard provided him that window when she walked in, totally nonchalant, looking for him.

"Sorry, doctor," Garrus called to the frightened human doctor at the other end of the room. She was still crouching behind the crate where they had left her.

"Well this is a first for us," Lina collapsed her rifle and clipped it back onto her armour. Garrus did the same.

"First time we've seen the other in action?" Garrus questioned. "Real action, not bar fight action."

"Exactly," she smirked at him. She turned to the woman approaching them with a blood-stained towel in her hands. "I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced," she reached her hand out. "I'm Commander Shepard, and you are..."

"Dr. Michel," the woman reached out her right hand, the left still rubbing the blood off of her shirt.

"Sorry about the mess, Chloe," Garrus opened his omni-tool and typed a short message. "I'll get C-Sec down here to clean up."

Lina couldn't help but smirk as she eyed the other woman, who spoke briefly about the crooked owner of Chora's Den and the quarian that he was holding captive and the information the girl supposedly held. She listened carefully, taking in the info the doctor was giving her, as well as the way the other woman was looking at her old friend. Lina felt a twang of jealousy. Garrus was _her_ turian, how dare that tall, slender, pretty, intelligent woman with a good job steal him...

She stopped herself there. Garrus hadn't been her turian for over five years. She knew that he had to move on, but it upset her to see that he actually had. She thanked the doctor and turned on her heel, walking quickly out of the clinic before anyone could stop her. Outside, she headed back towards the lower wards, determined to find the quarian before anything happened to them.

Garrus' mandibles clicked as he watched Shepard leave the medical centre in a hurry. Dr. Michel tried to give him some comforting words but he was far too distracted to hear them. He brushed off the doctor, telling her to take care of herself before following the CO out of the office.

She wasn't going after Fist _by herself?_ He could be pretty brash sometimes, but he knew better than to take on a crime lord by himself. He quickened his pace, determined to catch up with her.

Shepard was focused on the task at hand- find the quarian, get her data, go back to the Council, drown yourself in tequila in celebration. She saw the lower wards hallway where the meeting was to be taking place and peeked in- only a few mercs at this point. No sign of the quarian.

She heard footsteps behind her, and someone grabbed her elbow.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Garrus' smooth voice entered her ear.

"To find the quarian," Lina responded, looking up at him only briefly, back in serious mode.

"Not without me you aren't," Garrus settled in step beside her, craning his neck to see into the darkened alley. His voice was quiet, and the mercs didn't appear to hear them over the hum of the alley.

"Don't you have work to do?" she asked.

"This is my work," he replied. "Protect the innocent! Smite the evil!"

Lina let out a small chuckle, "Smite, eh?"

"Like that?" he grinned, looking down at her. "I just discovered that word a couple weeks ago. I've been using it like crazy."

"But seriously," she turned and met his eye. "You're going to just walk down in there with me, in a blaze of glory, without knowing what's waiting for you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I like taking risks," he replied. "And from what I felt back there, I like being with you when I take them."

Lina was at a loss for words. She took a step back and leaned against a wall as she stared down her old friend. He wasn't joking. There was a smile on his face but she could tell he was being completely serious.

"And who said anything about it just being Fist and his jackass mercs?" he asked, walking over to lean beside her. "I'm going to help you stop Saren."

"Because..." she pressed him.

"Because my investigation into him was half finished when it was thrown out the window," he turned to face the crowd walking obliviously past them. "And I don't like to leave things half finished."

He turned to meet her eye again with a smirk, and Lina couldn't help but feel as though he wasn't just talking about Saren.

"Point 'a' to point 'b', eh?" she smirked back. "That sounds familiar."

"So," he interrupted her thoughts. "What's the plan then?"

Lina pressed a gloved finger to her lips in thought, "Save the quarian, go to the Council, go to your place, pick up your shit, go to the Normandy, get some tequila."

Garrus nodded and pushed himself away from the wall. "After you, Commander."

They watched as a quarian approached the waiting mercs. Shepard didn't move towards the alley, instead walking towards Garrus and wrapping her arms around his waist. The act was awkward, seeing as they were both in full armour, but the gesture was something entirely different. Garrus leaned down, touching his forehead to hers, familiar smells overwhelming his sensitive nose.

"I'm glad to know that I still have you," she mumbled softly so only he could hear.

He responded in kind, his voice barely above a whisper, "Always."

They released, pulled their weapons, and stormed the alley together,

/-/

Garrus pondered the mechanics of the Mako, pouring over the technical manual and gathering as much info as he could on it through his omni-tool and by getting on his back to take a look himself. He sat by himself in the cargo bay, the humans that had glared at him nearly the entire time he spent tinkering through the vehicle's engines were gone to sleep in the crew quarters, and the krogan they picked up earlier in the day decided to go take a tour of the rest of the ship while it wasn't so busy.

He enjoyed being by himself down in the darkened hold, he decided. He streamed some music through the console next to him as he flipped the virtual pages of the ebook, sitting sideways on the driver's seat of the vehicle, door propped open above him. He was learning as much as he could about the machine he'd been assigned to, but so far, two things stuck out foremost in his mind:

One, he could not wait to drive this thing.

Two, knowing Lina's driving, he would be fixing it a lot.

The elevator doors opened and Garrus looked up, ready to greet the krogan again, when he was surprised by Lina's small frame exiting the lift. She smiled as she approached him, dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a beater tee.

"All by yourself down here?" she asked.

"Wrex went for a tour," he replied. "Shouldn't you be in bed? You had a long day."

"I couldn't sleep," she admitted, leaning on the vehicle next to him. "Thought I'd see who was still up. What are you reading?"

"Porn," he responded. "Really dirty stuff. Fornax devotees would be disgusted."

Lina laughed, crossing her arms across her chest. The two were silent for a bit, enjoying the familiar comfort of the others company as they listened to the music coming through the console. Lina let out a sigh, and walked over to turn it off before facing her friend head on.

"Garrus," she grabbed his hand and pulled him to her. He got up from the seat, standing directly before her, the two of them face to face.

"Garrus," she said again, looking at the ground between them. "I'm sorry that..." she forced herself to look up. "I'm sorry that I left without saying goodbye."

He let out a breath and averted his eyes, clearly torn. She waited for him to forgive her, to hug her like he always did when she fucked things up, to crack a joke and say it was okay, but she knew it wouldn't happen. It had taken her almost a year to write after that and then he had never written back. She was more then happy to have a talented fighter with tech skill on her team, but a part of her wished that things could go back to how they were before. Closest friends with absolute comfort and trust in one another. It tore her heart in two to think about how badly she had managed to mess that up with one stupid kiss.

"Yeah," he finally responded. "That sucked."

"I did write," she said. "But you never responded. I assumed you didn't get it."

"I did."

"Why didn't you write back?" she asked.

He ran his hands over his fringe, a nervous habit that he still had.

"Because I didn't want to fall back into my old habits," he responded. "After you left, I quit, everything. I quit drinking, I quit smoking, I quit putting my dependence all in one person. I threw myself into work like a good turian and stopped having a social life that could interfere with my job. As soon as I saw that message from you... I felt myself slipping. I knew I would fall back into my bad habits again if I let myself think about you."

Lina was silent. "How do you feel now?"

"Better," he replied. "I've been sober for a long time now. It's a great feeling."

"So no sneaking down here at night to drink ryncol and playfight?" she winked. He laughed and shook his head.

"Sorry," he gave her a lopsided grin. "Just not me anymore."

"Dang," she snapped her fingers. She took a step forward and leaned against him, letting herself soak in his warmth.

He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to nip her on the cheek and cuddle with her until she fell asleep in his arms, but he stopped himself. He opted to let his hand rest at her lower back instead.

"Lina," he mumbled quietly. "About what happened before you left..."

She shushed him, pressing a finger against his mouth.

"Not now," she said. "We've got plenty of time to talk about this in the next little while. Right now, I just want my best friend."

He chuckled. She was using his own words against him, the smarmy harpy.

"So," she stood back, leaning against the Mako again and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you have a thing for redheads or what?"

He gave her a confused look. When she brought up Dr. Michel he couldn't help but groan.

"I helped her once," he pulled himself back up to the driver's seat, sitting sideways in it so his legs dangled out the open door. "_Once_, when she got in trouble. And since then, every time she felt threatened or scared of someone, she would call me, all '_Garrus, Garrus, please come to the med clinic and shower me with attention!_'"

Lina laughed as he pantomimed the doctor's accent.

"Come on!" he let his face fall into his hands as he laughed. "If you're going to piss people off, learn to throw a punch!"

"Obviously she was hopelessly in love with you, Garrus," Lina smirked and cocked an eyebrow.

"Every woman is hopelessly in love with me, Shepard," he shot back. "But none of them know it yet."

Lina leaned over and waited for the giggles to subside before she stood again. She took a deep breath and pushed her hair back out of her face.

"It feels good to laugh again," she sighed.

"Alliance doesn't allow laughing?" Garrus joked as he reached for the datapad once again.

"Not like this," she took another deep breath. She relaxed as they fell into a comfortable silence once again, this time not permeated by music. There were a few clicks and Lina realized that Garrus had started reading the ebook again. She pushed herself up and touched his knee to get his attention.

"I'm going to head back up to bed," she said when he looked up. "It was good to talk to you like this."

He smiled and nodded, watching her as she turned to head back to the elevator.

She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, more to warm herself up than for comfort. She called back to him before getting into the elevator, "Aren't you supposed to be a turian? How can you stand the cold? I am freezing down here!"

A barking laugh stopped her from entering the lift totally, and she suddenly realized what he was laughing at. Despite five years apart and how much they had both changed in that amount of time, she still knew what his response would be. She turned to look back at him and saw that he was already standing, looking at her, arms reaching forward, waiting for her to run into them. She grinned and obliged, sprinting back in his direction.

"Get over here."

\-\

Err, hello!

So you've made it to the end without stabbing me- congratulations!

I've been working on this for the last 6 months and am satisfied that I actually managed to _finish_ something. I am, of course, working on a sequel, which will be posted in parts at... some point in the near future.

If you miss me between then and now, you can find me elsewhere on the internet! This includes Twitter, and Tumblr, both links are located in my profile.

Thanks, as always, to my lovely soul mate/editor Tara, my great love and space heater the Dude, my awesome room mate Rudiger, and to all of you for keeping up with it!

(And to the anonymous reviewer who picked up the Banksy reference- _awesome!_)


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